When Sir Mix-a-Lot Says You're Over, You Know You're in Trouble

After getting a taste of Erika's tookus, the sultan of bootie takes some time to tell the NYTimes that Seattle is sport Purgatory.

Topics: Sports Media and Stupid athlete tricks

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Forget About Pinkel, Dawg Fans

Mizzou reportedly just locked him up with a raise and extension.

Topics: College Football

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Jamal Crawford Headed to Golden State

The New York Times is reporting that the former Rainier Beach star has been swapped for Al Harrington, thus clearing the way for fellow ex-Rainier Beach star Nate Robinson to get even more playing time for the Knicks in what has so far been a breakout year for the powerful, diminutive tweener guard (Crawford's been no slouch himself). This move is more reminiscent of the Isiah Thomas era than the Donnie Walsh era, although Harrington could be an ideal frontliner for D'Antoni's run and gun system.

Furthermore, the NYT says Zach Randolph — another Knick enjoying a career year under D'Antoni — could be on the move soon as well (Update: He is, to the Los Angeles team that isn't coached by Phil Jackson). I guess when you've got a mandate to clean house, you clean house — even if the house isn't anywhere near as messy as you assumed it'd be once you entered the door. But as the NYT correctly points out, these moves are really all about clearing cap space to acquire LeBron James in 2010.

Topics: NBA

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Crapple Cup Score From the Future

The loveliest Apple Cup you'll see this year.

I thought last year would be bad, but this season has made 2007 seem downright impressive.

For the cross-state matchup, I predict a 26 - 7 blowout of the Cougars in tomorrow's Toilet Bowl/Apple Cup giving the Huskies their only win of the season. Both defenses give up yards like party favors but Wazzu tends toward letting their opponents convert by the first or second down while UW can hold out until the third. So on that highly untechnical and totally unscientific basis, I have this game going to the Huskies. Because it's in Pullman and because the Cougar offense finally realized the ball is supposed to go forward, the Cougars should score at least once.

But my favorite prediction, I unfortunately can't take credit for. Seely speculated earlier that one of the quarterbacks would actually trip in their own end zone, go down for a safety, and the whole tragic spectacle of 2008 Washington state college football would end 2 - 0 in Pullman. Wah wah waaaah.

Of course, last year the matchup of two equally terrible teams turned the game itself into one of the most exciting Apple Cups in recent memory so maybe we'll get a great show tomorrow.

Topics: College Football, Cougars, and Huskies

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Know Your Is(a)iah Thomases

Upon hearing the name Isaiah Thomas, most people think of the famous Detroit Pistons’ point guard, whose name was actually spelled ‘Isiah’. But devout Husky fans might think first of the freshman many expect to return UW men’s basketball to its previous level of excellence. And old-timers might think only of the publisher and American Revolutionary. To minimize your confusion, Dear Reader, we provide you with the following guide. Now you, too, can know your Is(a)iah Thomases.

Thomas is described as "strikingly handsome" by his biographer, Clifford K. Shipton.

Isaiah Thomas, 1749 - 1831
Training: Apprenticed at the age of seven to the printer Zechariah Fowle, who was “unstable and irritable,” according to the biography, Isaiah Thomas: Printer, Patriot, and Philanthropist, by Clifford K. Shipton.
Punishment Endured: Fowle was too lazy to discipline Thomas.
Declaration of Independence: Thomas is famous for performing the first public reading of the Declaration of Independence. However, he first declared his own independence by walking out on his apprenticeship with Fowle at the age of sixteen.
Accomplishments: Performed the first public reading of the Declaration of Independence. Reported on the battles of Lexinton and Concord. Published a semi-weekly newspaper called the Massachusetts Spy. Founded the American Antiquarian Society, devoted to preserving the antiquities of America.
Achilles Heel: Headstrong personality.
Future prospects: Dim.

We're baffled, too, Mr. Thomas.

Isiah Thomas 1961 -
Training: Coached in college by Bob Knight, who was widely known for being unstable and irritable.
Punishment Endured: Knight kicked Thomas out of practice on a regular basis.
Declaration of Independence: Having withstood two years of Knight’s abrasive coaching, Thomas left college in 1981 for the greenback pastures of the NBA, enabling him to provide for his previously poor family. (At an alumni dinner the next year, Thomas made Knight uncomfortable by recounting the coach’s use of the term “sunt.”)
Accomplishments: Won two NBA championships with the Detroit Pistons and made multiple All-Star appearances. Considered one of the best point guards of all time. His great success as a player is nearly matched by his failure as a manager. As General Manager and then coach of the New York Knicks, he presided over a stretch of epic dysfunction and profligate spending, capped by the organization’s loss in an $11.6 million sexual harassment suit over Thomas’ behavior.
Achilles Heel: Overweight big men. Overpaid former stars. Sexual harassment trials.
Future Prospects: Reputation is down, but Thomas has a keen eye for young talent and a knack for landing in good situations.

His future's so bright, we had to photoshop in some shades.

Isaiah Thomas 1989? -
Training: Apprenticed to himself. According to a Facebook post by a reliable friend of the author, 12-year-old Isaiah Thomas dominated high school and college kids at a Tacoma Bally’s Fitness. His more senior competitors rolled their eyes when he informed them of his name. He has since been taken under the wings of Lorenzo Romar, Nate Robinson, and Jamal Crawford.
Punishment Endured: Romar pulled Thomas from the starting lineup for showing up to pre-game warmups one minute late because he was having his ankles taped.
Declaration of Independence: At age 17, Thomas left his family and his hometown of Tacoma to attend South Kent School in Connecticut.
Accomplishments: Posted better high school numbers than Isiah Thomas. Averaged over 40 points per game in the state high school tournament. Jumped over a 6’9” teammate for a dunk in practice.
Achilles Heel: Errant jump shots, cheap fouls, Strawberry Pop-Tarts.
Prospects: The name doesn’t lie, Dawg fans. This pup is headed for greatness.

Topics: Damon Agnos: The Bounce to Ecstasy!

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Zorn to Qwest Field

The long-awaited return of now Redskins head coach Jim Zorn is nearly upon us as Washington rolls into town this Sunday.

Earlier this season I made the prediction a day would come when Seahawks fans would wish it was Zorn’s crew-cut mien peering over a clipboard on the sidelines. With the ‘Skins at 6-4, playing in the toughest division in football, the NFC East, and contending for a playoff spot, that day probably came about five weeks ago.

Particularly since coach-in-waiting Jim Mora Mk. II is running the Hawks secondary, which has been playing more like a fourthdary.

Continue reading "Zorn to Qwest Field"

Topics: Seahawks

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Jake Locker Gets to Pick His New Coach

Well, sort of: He's the only student-athlete on UW Prez Mark Emmert's football coach selection committee.

Topics: Huskies

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FreeDarko Book Launch Party Tonight

In this week's issue, I profiled Nathaniel Friedman/Bethlehem Shoals, the lead blogger of the famous collective, FreeDarko, whose book FreeDarko Presents...The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac: Styles, Stats, and Stars in Today's Game hit the shelves a couple weeks ago. (SW review here.) Tonight at the Redwood, Friedman and the fine folks at Sports Northwest Magazine are hosting a book launch/NBA viewing party. It runs from 6-10 pm, and you can meet Friedman and get free copies of the always excellent Sports Northwest.

Topics: NBA

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Wakamats-who?

The M's had a chance to hire a fan favorite from their golden era, who just so happened to have been the bench coach on a playoff team, and instead they hire a virtual no-name who was the bench coach on a super-crappy team? But hey, in all seriousness, let's give Don a chance. He could be the next Joe Maddon.

Topics: Mariners

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Damn, It Feels Good to Be a Vandal

There's not a lot to cheer about in Vandal Nation these days. Our football team's 2-9, we just lost to our arch-rivals BSU, and we were unable to put a Vandal in the White House. But, friends and fellow Vandals, there's still a grin on my face. Why? Because we've still got a better record than the Huskies and our smug Palouse neighbors, the Cougs. And we don't drop millions of dollars on a coaching staff to lose games.

Kinda reminds me WSU's homecoming game in 2000. In 1999, the Vandals beat the Cougs for the first time in generations. With the Palouse rivalry game set for homecoming weekend, WSU pricks decided on the ominous theme: "Vandal Victory is Ancient History."

I was a freshman Vandal that year, playing quads in the Sound of Idaho (marching band). And when we beat the Cougs that afternoon in Martin Stadium, I knew I'd never fly the banner of a winning football team. I knew the Cougs would come back and clobber us in subsequent seasons. But, I'll always have "Vandal Victor is Ancient History."

Topics: College Football

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Dallas Mavericks Owner Mark Cuban Facing Insider Trading Charges

It turns out Devin Harris for Jason Kidd may not be Mark Cuban's worst trade. Now one of the two NBA owners to vote against the Sonics relocation is facing insider trading charges for allegedly selling shares of a company called Mamma.com Inc. in 2004 on non-public information.

Topics: NBA

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Wha Happened, Huskies?

Portland 80, Washington 74. I guess I should've added "Wha happened?" to the Husky hoop glossary.

Topics: College Hoop and Huskies

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Durant: OKC A "Great Town"

He also tells the Sporting News that he's "loving it" down south. On the one hand, of course he's going to say that, whether he means it or not. On the other hand, "love" is an awfully strong term to use; Seattle's no better than an old fuck buddy to him now. Bottom line: If any Sonic fans feel as though they have to remain loyal or neutral toward our one-year wonder — nah, you really don't. With that in mind, the Thunder visit Portland on February 11. While it may be a tough ticket for Sonic fans, this'll be their one and only opportunity to hector the snot out of Clay Bennett's Okie charges, regardless of whether it's in the Rose Garden or on the streets of Portland.

Topics: Sonics

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Time to Shut Hasselbeck Down

The NFC West is sufficiently crappy to justify playing Matt Hasselbeck in today's game against division-leading Arizona. But now that the Cardinals have toppled the Hawks on their home field, 26-20, the best the Seahawks can finish with in the extremely unlikely event they win out is 8-8 — and not even that will get them into the playoffs. So, to me, there's a clear decision to be made here: shut Hasselbeck down for the year. He's got a beat-up back, and beat-up backs don't get any better by absorbing crushing hits from 300-lb. beasts every few minutes.

The Hawks need to see what they've got in backup QB Seneca Wallace (I'm not convinced that his best use isn't as a third string QB/slot receiver combo, ala vintage Kordell Stewart), and it might also be worthwhile to let rookie Justin Forsett, primarily a kick returner, get a signficant amount of backfield playing time as well. He had a fantastic college career in a big-time conference, and size alone shouldn't impede him from getting the shot to replicate that success in the pros. But again, Hasselbeck needn't have to make the heroic hobble onto the field anymore this year, because this year isn't about this year anymore.

Speaking of this year-next year dilemmas: Does it make sense to promote your secondary coach to head coach next year when your secondary has consistently underachived and gotten torched this year? Just asking.

Topics: Seahawks

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Next Stop: Terre Haute

Wenatchee's Amanda Miller. Photo: UW Sports Information Dept

The penultimate step before the NCAA cross-country championships (Mon. Nov. 24) in Indiana was held today at Stanford. The UW women's squad, No. 1-rated in the nation, did not disappoint. Though coach Greg Metcalf opted to rest two of his best runners, the Huskies dominated the meet by sweeping places 3 through 7. You can read the official UW summary here, and here are the scoring results:

1 Alex Kosinski, Oregon 19:59
2 Nicole Blood Oregon 20:01
3 Christine Babcock, Washington 20:02
4 Marie Lawrence, Washington 20:03
5 Katie Follett, Washington 20:07
6 Anita Campbell, Washington 20:12
7 Amanda Miller, Washington 20:13

In XC, low score wins, and scoring is an aggregate of the top five members of the squad. Thus, the Huskies tallied 25 points, far ahead of Oregon's 62 points and Stanford's 91 points. (At the prior Pac 10 meet, the UW women scored an unprecedented 15 points sweeping the first five places.) The UW men's squad finished a very respectable fifth in this NCAA regional meet.

Notably absent for the UW women was Canadian frosh phenom Kendra Schaaf, who won the Pac 10 meet, and sophomore Lauren Saylor (12th at Pac 10). Schaaf, if she holds form, could be a top 3 finisher at NCAAs. (Sally Kipyego, a Kenyan running for Texas Tech, is favored to win.)

Here's a trivia question that I can't answer: When was the last time the UW won a national championship in any team sport? Because it looks like it's about to happen for the first time in a very, very long time.

Topics: Cross Country and Huskies

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