Honey, Get Me My Sonics Jersey: I’m Feeling a Draft!

The Sonics are here and will be until somebody pries the vintage Gary Payton jersey off of filmmaker Jason Reid’s cold, dead tits. (A note to the city: If, when she sends it to you, Pechman’s ruling sucks, just refuse to open it.) Right now, Reid’s tits are hot and alive, and the heart that beats beneath them is quickening to double time in anticipation of this afternoon’s action at Madison Square Garden. Our beloved Supers, led by their fearless, bespectacled boy genius, Sam Presti, have six picks (4, 24, 32, 45, 50, 55) with which to build Seattle’s next champion. So put on your pinstripe suit, call up your entourage, paint the living room green, and consult this Sonics draft guide for more armchair speculation and YouTube clips than anywhere else. (It's also probably got a bit of pro-PAC-10 bias, particularly in the later rounds, when the instinct is to go with the marginally talented player you know.)

It's no secret that last year’s team was less than awesome, leaving plenty of areas for improvement. The most notable are at the point and the pivot; with Kevin Durant and Jeff Green, the team is somewhat set at the swing spots. Nevertheless, the draft’s best talent, swingman Michael Beasley, may be available via trade. But more on that below, along with YouTube clips (of varying quality) for every player listed. A quick warning, some of the YouTube clips contain songs with NSFW lyrics. One clip—Malik Hairston's—contains Bill Raftery, coiner of the phrase, "the bounce to ecstasy!" And, as you'll likely note, while our friends overseas are quickly catching up to us on the court, they still have a long way to go when it comes to making YouTube mixes.

Pick #4

Option 1: Trade the pick and Chris Wilcox to the Miami Heat for the #2 pick and Mark Blount. With that pick, select:

Michael Beasley

Beasley’s promised to wear “a blazer, no shirt, and a bowtie” to the draft and to uke David Stern on the handshake, instead doing the old maneuver where he pulls back his hand and pantomimes slicking back his hair. For comments like these and the fact that he got kicked out of his high school for tagging his principal’s car, a lot of people have “character” concerns about Beasley. But he tagged the principal’s car to win a contest (“I don’t lose at anything,” he explained) and just had what was probably the best season of any freshman in history. Plus, he looks a little like a young Fresh Prince. It’d be a task to integrate three oversized swingmen, two of whom need the ball all the time, but it’d be fun to watch.

If the Sonics keep the pick, here are our rankings of the players they’re rumored to be considering:

Option 2: OJ Mayo

Putting him on the list is a bit of a formality, as there’s little chance he’ll be around this late. He has many skills, among them shooting the three and defending big guards, two things no other other current Sonic can do. Plus, he’ll immediately challenge for the best name in the NBA, if not all of sports. (Dick Pound, you’re on notice.)

Option 3: Jerryd Bayless

A combo guard who’s a little small but plenty athletic. Some say he’d be a good point guard for Durant because he could play off the ball. At the very least, he can score...and dunk. Here’s a highlight reel from his high school days.

Option 4: Brook Lopez

The Supes like to keep 21 feet of stiff as ballast to keep their bench balanced. With Mo Sene down for the season with microfracture surgery, they’re seven short. Of course, Lopez could turn out not to be a stiff: despite slow feet that resulted in a low rebound rate and true shooting percentage, he has shown the ability to score in the post, putting up respectable numbers in the best conference in the NCAA last season. And he’s only 19. Most importantly, he’d restock the severely depleted Sonics boy band, Coast2Coast. David Stern has long talked about expanding the league’s appeal. Building a boy band of one of its youngest teams would be a good start. The New Kids are old; long live the new kids!

Option 5: Russell Westbrook

His offensive skills are far from where they need to be, but he should become a disruptive defensive player very quickly, the type who makes dog-day games hell for opposing point guards.

And a few players the Supes are rumored not to be considering, but who warrant consideration, particularly above Lopez and Westbrook.

Option 6: Kevin Love

Skilled and strong, Love faces an important fork in the road. One path is that taken by Elton Brand and Deron Williams, chubby college ballers who slimmed down for solid pro careers. Down the other path, holding his shorts and catching his breath, stands Oliver Miller, a too-short center of sublime skill who ate his way out of the league. Love hasn’t approached that level of fatness yet, but he’s only 19, and “slimming down” to 13% body fat doesn’t bode well. But even if he struggles to get up and down the court, his facial hair is ready to go Coast2Coast.

Option 7: Joe Alexander

High risk, high reward. Alexander has a great work ethic and tests off the charts in every athletic measure, but has been playing organized ball for only five years. He seemed finally to figure the game out in the second half of his junior year. Drafting Alexander would guarantee the Sonics a participant in the dunk contest and also help rebuild Coast2Coast.

Option 8: Danilo Gallinari

The Italian is insanely skilled and pretty nimble for a guy who’s nearly 6’10”. He reminds a little of Hedo Turkoglu or Danny Manning. He’ll probably never be a great defender or rebounder, but offensively he should be a dynamo.

Pick 24

Option 1: Chris Douglas-Roberts

The Supes are short on guys who can create their own shot. CDR can do that in spades. He has that crafty, late 80s playground game that would make him an ideal fourth wheel for Run TMC—or for the 2008-2009 Supes.

Option 2: Kyle Weaver

A local favorite, Weaver has the skillset and temperament to be a Pauper’s Pippen. What’s more, as Seely noted yesterday, he’s easy on the eyes. Did I hear someone say Coast2Coast?

Option 3: Bill Walker

In high school, he looked like Vince Carter 2.0. 2.5 knee injuries and 25 pounds later, he’s not quite that explosive. But he’s still bull-strong for a wing and possessed of good scoring instincts. A Corliss Williamson-type career seems within reach.

Option 4: Serge Ibaka

Ibaka appears to lack the basketball skills to play in the NBA anytime soon, and thus may not warrant the guaranteed contract that comes with a first round pick. But he is an insane athlete who, if selected with Joe Alexander, could give the Sonics the dunkingest team—or at least garbage time team—in the league.

Option 5: J.J. Hickson

An active big man with decent scoring instincts and a desire to dunk whenever possible, Hickson sounds a little too much like Chris Wilcox. But there’s not a lot left at this point.

Pick 32

Option 1: Weaver

Option 2: Walker

Option 3: Ibaka

Option 4: Hickson

Option 5: Omer Asik

The Young Turk is strong and athletic and put up respectable numbers against Euroleague competition, which is tougher than Division I ball. He may be signing a long-term contract for big money with no buyout clause, so picking him is risky.

Pick 45

Option 1: Ryan Anderson

Anderson could play alongside Beasley, Durant, and Green in one of the most oversized, sharpshooting lineups in recent memory. Anderson highlights from 1:14 to 1:34 in video below:

Option 2: Luc Richard Mbah a Moute

At some point, the Supes will need to draft someone who can play defense. Mbah a Moute is that guy.

Option 3: Joey Dorsey

Like Danny Fortson, but with less skill and more hops. It would be fun to see him get his ass kicked by Greg Oden four times a year, after unsuccessfully calling Oden out in the 07 NCAA tourney.

Option 4: Malik Hairston

Via Oregon via Detroit, Hairston arrives with an all-around game that would make him a nice player to bring off the bench.

Option 5: Nikola Pekovic

Even more than Asik, Pekovic dominated the Euroleague this year. But whereas Asik’s prohibitive contract is still in the rumor stage, Pekovic’s is confirmed. Nevertheless, anybody who can dominate that level of competition is worth a mid-2nd round flyer.

Pick 50

Option 1: Mbah a Moute

Option 2: Dorsey

Option 3: Hairston

Option 4: Bryce Taylor

Another Duck, Taylor can shoot the three and has Coast2Coast written all over him.

Option 5: Mantas Kalneitis

A point guard who likes to dunk, Kalneitis will probably never make it to the NBA. IF he does, though, he should be fun to watch.

Pick 55

Option 1: Mbah a Moute

Option 2: Dorsey

Option 3: Hairston

Option 4: Taylor

Option 5: Kalneitis

Update:

A couple more ballers the Supers are rumored to be considering for the mid-late 2nd round picks:

Sonny Weems

High flying Arkansas guard never put up big numbers but has the physical tools for the NBA:

Gary Forbes

Forbes dominated the Orlando pre-draft camp and could become a decent NBA scorer:

Topics: Damon Agnos: The Bounce to Ecstasy!

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