Calabro Calling Soccer: How Will He Handle the Streaker?

Great news that Kevin Calabro is going to be calling the play-by-play for Sounders FC. I can't wait to hear him work his voodoo on the beautiful game.

But at the risk of unleashing the insane clown posse of Sounders FC supporters again, I do have to say that I hope Kevin learns enough about the game to know what is genuinely exciting and what is simply crappy soccer. Listening to most of the American broadcasts of soccer games they get all worked up about some long, high cross that no one has a prayer of getting into the goal, just because, well, it's long and high and isn't that the definition of exciting? No matter how lame some striker's first touch is, the announcers are creaming themselves that he's "into the box!!!" Most ridiculous of all was the Mitre Power Shot on ABC's soccer broadcasts, in which they told you the speed of every shot on goal, as if that was some kind of measure of how good a shot it was. They seem to think it's like telling you the speed of a pitcher's throw, when it's more like excitedly reporting the speed of a quarterback's incomplete pass.

What's so refreshing about watching English soccer is the announcers don't fall for any of that nonsense. They get excited by brilliant play, and pour scorn on crappy high, fast, unproductive balls, especially when the players are in the box(!!!). Their sardonic, seen-it-all attitude is brilliantly sent up in this Nike ad (above) from years back.