Inquiring Minds Want to Know: 45 Questions on Seattle Sports
Posted July 10, 2008 at 7:00 am by Damon Agnos
1. Could I beat Jose Vidro in a foot race?
2. If not, should I feel bad about myself?
3. Will the basketball franchise located in Oklahoma City clear cap room for the big free agent classes of 2009 and 2010?
4. Will they strike out and instead end up signing Bryant “Big Country” Reeves?
5. Will he be an improvement over Robert Swift?
6. Better frosted tips: Richie Sexson or Bret Boone?
7. Aren’t you glad the Mariners traded Adam Jones?
8. Will Ichiro finish the season with an on base percentage higher than his slugging percentage?
9. Will Jose Vidro finish the season with a batting average higher than his (actual, not listed) body weight?
10. Will Richie Sexson?
11. Do the Mariners scouts communicate with the front office via e-mail or telegram?
12. Did Arthur Rhodes really decline to pitch because he "slept on his arm funny"?
13. Should the Mariners replace him with Carl Weathers?
14. Carl Weathers wouldn't sleep funny on his arm, would he?
15. Did Vladimir Radmanovic and Freddy Garcia ever go out and party together when they were both in Seattle?
16. Better interview: Ty Willingham or Erik Bedard?
17. Stronger arm: Jake Locker or Ichiro?
18. Does uber-literalist Aubrey McClendon reply to the penis enlargement spam in his inbox?
19. Will he be the first NBA owner ever duped by a Sacha Baron Cohen prank?
20. If A-Rod had stayed in Seattle, what aging starlet would he have (allegedly) cheated on his wife with? Nancy Wilson?
21. Jean Enersen?
22. Penny LeGate?
23. Can Shawn Kemp still dunk?
24. Can he still party like it’s 1995?
25. Better yet, can Gary Payton?
26. Should KUBE give Sam Perkins a radio show again?
27. Whither Predrag Drobnjak?
28. If each player came with her own time machine, would the 2008 Storm be the best WNBA team ever assembled?
29. To show us that you really are open to Seattle having an NBA team, David Stern, will you grow your mustache back?
30. Will the Mariners ever have a promotion that tops Turn Back the Clock Day featuring Erik Estrada?
31. Better athletes: Cal Anderson park basketballers, tennis players, or dodgeballers?
32. Who would you rather have running your baseball team—Lee Pelekoudas or Dave Cameron and Derek Zumstag?
33. Do Cameron and Zumstag convincingly make the case that Adrian Beltre’s 2007 was the best season ever by a Mariners third baseman?
34. Is any league better at naming/branding their teams and players than the Rat City Rollergirls?
35. Who has the best mustache in Mariners history?
36. Should Jack Perconte feel insulted that he wasn't included in the conversation?
37. John L. Williams or Mack Strong?
38. Mike Holmgren or Wilford Brimley?
39. Better crooked hat: Mike Cameron or Felix Hernandez?
40. Does any NBA team have a dance squad worthy of battling the (late) Boom Squad?
41. What’s the difference between Jose Vidro and Bernie Lomax?
42. Does the Mariner Moose wear a cup?
43. What would Frank Brickowski do?
44. Is this year’s Seattle Mariners (expensive domestic failure nevertheless destined for big profits overseas) the sports equivalent of the Kevin Costner movie, Waterworld?
45. If so, does that mean that Ichiro drinks his own pee?
Comments
What about A-Rod's frosted tipos? He was a Mariner once, even if the frosting was belated.
Posted July 14, 2008 at 9:50 am by Seely