Touring the Association: Seattle Ballers in the NBA

It’s a shame that FSN isn't broadcasting the Blazers up here. The team is a treasure, as anyone who watched them against the Rockets on TNT last night can attest. Husky fans were given a fun flashback when Brandon Roy twisted and elevated for a game-winning buzzer-beating three. (As a senior, he hit two buzzer-beating jumpers in the same game against Arizona, though Arizona ended up winning.) But the best thing about watching the Blazers is their bench; there’s no letdown for viewers when the second string comes in because it bringsthe Flamboyant Spanish duo of Sergio Rodriguez and Rudy Fernandez, as well as one of two gangly jumping jacks, depending on who started: Travis Outlaw or Frenchman Nicolas Batum. In the variegated world of the Association, few things are more exciting than international flash.

Last week I wrote about former Rainier Beach Vikings Nate Robinson and Jamal Crawford, and their impending zenith in Mike D’Antoni’s system. It’s been ups and downs since, with the Knicks losing more than they’ve won and Crawford shooting poorly, but Robinson holding up his end of the bargain. Yesterday, ESPN put up a video about their newest teammate, rookie Danilo Gallinari. It’s called LZ’s Cafe, and in it writer LZ Granderson dines with Gallinari, Blassie or Andre style, and discusses life. Gallinari is known in Italy as Il Gallo, or the Rooster. It’s a fine nickname, and I hope it sticks, but this picture of him reminded me of this.

Since one trope of hoop nicknames is to include pigmentation (Chocolate Thunder, White Chocolate, the Vanilla Gorilla, etc.) and since the image is a throwback, I think it’d be appropriate to dig up some old school racial nomenclature and call Gallinari “The Spree of the Caucasas”. It’s a mouthful, no doubt, but it also sounds like an Obama primary campaign strategy, which of course sounds like a winner. The Rooster has been foreordained by the man with whom he shares half a hue. (Another option would be to allow him to keep the Italian article while translating the noun, making him “Ill Rooster”.)

Speaking of Whitey, Spencer Hawes continues to impress, the result of finally getting his body fat below ten percent (it’s amazing how long it takes some athletes to figure that one out). He also still looks like Michael Phelps. Former Franklin star Aaron Brooks is shooting 50% from three-point range and still looks like Chris Rock. And his Franklin forebear Jason “Jet” Terry can still fly at 31. Now if only someone would sign Will Conroy.