What Do You Get the Fan Who Has Nothing? Holiday Shopping for the Seattle Sports Fan

Don James storming a Puget Sound Wal-Mart on Black Friday.



Shawn Alexander Fathead


Saves recipient from having to decorate an entire wall of his/her house. Also, Fatheads are made to stay up, so unlike real Alexander, won't crumple in anticipation of approaching tacklers.

Price: On sale for $19.99!



Horace Grant Sonics Jersey


In 1999, in a typically brilliant move by Wally Walker, the Sonics traded first-round pick Corey Maggette for Horace Grant, who stuck with the team for one season. He averaged 8.1 points and 7.8 rebounds, but more importantly helped a young Mike Seely feel secure about his decision to wear goggles on the basketball court.

Price: Make owner, Reidster Reid (shown above, upset with a foul call during a 2005 Sonics playoff game), an offer he can't refuse.



Chris Wilcox Bobblehead


He's smiling because he's not in Oklahoma City.

Price: Best Offer


1.75 Liter Bottle of Jack Daniels Whiskey


Sometimes the camaraderie provided by fellow Seattle fans isn't consolation enough.

Price: 44.99
Sue Bird Bobblehead



A high dribble for Sue, but otherwise a pretty solid doll.

Price: $27.99 


Huskies Foamhead Hat


Great for keeping warm when tailgating. Can be pulled down over eyes when game starts.

Price: $29.95


Ichiro Fathead


Mr. Yamauchi has one on his bedroom wall.

Price: $149.99

Shawn Kemp Jersey


Child size jersey. Statistics give a 5% chance that either seller or recipient is child of Kemp.

Price: EBay bidding currently at $1.25



Rat City Rollergirls Merchandise


You'll never be as tough or cleverly named as they are, but at least you can get a bit of vicarious swagger by sporting their well-designed gear.

Price: varies



Green and Gold Zubaz Pants


Do your best Clint Eastwood impression and tell Clay Bennett you'll be wearing these when you piss on his grave.