My 'Stache

The following is a press release from 826 Seattle. We rarely publish these sorts of things verbatim, but then again, we rarely get press releases this good and amusing:

Come Join The First Annual 826 Mustache-A-Thon.
 
Think Mark Twain. Think Langston Hughes. Think Gertrude Stein. Think every western philosopher since the dawn of western philosophy. There's clearly a connection between writing and the growing of facial hair. Alas, most 826 students are not yet able to grow their own fine mustaches, showing the world that they are outstanding authors worthy of praise and fame. So instead, we must help them do things like publish. As you know, this does not come cheaply. 
 
826 Seattle's first-ever Mustache-A-Thon is happening this fall. From October 12 to November 16, people will grow mustaches and get other people to sponsor their hair growth. (Picture this event as a read-a-thon, but with mustaches filling the role of books.) Every Thursday night the mustache farmers will meet at the Pig-n-Whistle for a beer and a "weigh in", where each volunteer will get their photo snapped. By the next day, friends and family around the globe can be sent a link where they can admire your achievements-and donate to 826 at the same time. 
 

If you are genetically incapable of growing a mustache but are dying to be involved, we can match you with a mustache farmer as their official fundraiser. If you are happy to grow a mustache but doubt your personal fundraising skills, don't fret: team efforts are easy for us to assemble. We'll provide each volunteer person or team with the fundraising packets they'll need, including an awesome "Ask Me About My Mustache" button to display proudly on your lapel. Email support, head patting, and special prizes for outstanding achievements are all available for volunteers during the weeks of the fundraiser. We are also happy to work with you and/or your fundraising partner to establish fundraising goals. We expect Mustache-A-Thon 2006 to net Seattle 826 about $10,000.
 
 Now as your upper lip hair follicles start revving up, consider this. For $10,000 826 Seattle could accomplish one of the following: 

• We can publish the first ever anthology of the best writing work of 826 Seattle students, including a bang-up publishing party, special autographing pens for the authors and milk in the plastic champagne glasses.
• We can host 1,100 Seattle Public Schools students on 44 field trips, inspiring them to know that a writing field trip can be just as much fun as one going to the zoo!
• We can finance 27 workshops which includes volunteer training, publicizing the workshops on our web site, sending out flyers and in-house publishing of 415 students' stories. And, of course, the lead in the pencils and the electricity to light the way!

We are asking that our mustache farmers begin with a clean shave and work to create a classic side-to-side upper lip caterpillar, rather than anything fancy like sideburns or soul patches. Extra points are awarded for waxing and curling. The dates just happen to coincide with Hallow'een, so if you are debating what your costume might be, a mustache might get you on the right track. The event ends a week before Thanksgiving, so you can choose to return to normal or show off your new style for the family.
 
 This is going to be preposterously fun, and perhaps the best excuse of your life to grow a fine Gabriel Garcia Marquez-style 'stache. Strangers may recognize you as a famous author, even if you are not.
 
 Interested? Email Jill Lightner at cookie.diva@gmail.com to get your name on the list. Your packet will be ready for pick up at the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. by October 7, 2006 . We will then email you the specific details about our Pig-n-Whistle weekly photo shoots and beer drinking weigh-ins. 
 
 Thank you and good luck!