Sport-Ute Scramble

I have a confession to make: I used to throw eggs at things for sport in high school. Not all the time, but enough of the time where I have some fond (and shameful) egging memories. This was an incredibly juvenile habit; one which I never thought I'd have cause to reprise.

Now comes word that the legislature has passed a cellphone-while-driving ban similar to our seatbelt law -- where the cell driving infraction is a $101 tack-on should you get pulled over for some other moving violation. Okay, but they should have gone yard and made it a primary infraction. Me? I'm taking matters into my own hands: From now on, I will carry a dozen eggs with me wherever I go (on foot, which is how I commute). If I see a driver talking on his or her cellphone while driving? Yoke city, baby -- all over the windshield. You're breaking the law now, suckers. Hang up.