Racing the S.L.U.T.
My battle to best the machine starts with breakfast. Figured some high-protein, extra-organic Kashi cereal (eaten with soy milk of course), should do the trick. Belly full and lucky socks on, I set out to race the South Lake Union Trolley.
First challenge was finding the damn thing. The persistent drizzle on this very typical December Seattle morning severely hindered my SLUT sniffing skills. I padded anxiously between Westlake and Terry avenues trying to get a glimpse of one of the crayon-colored cars. Was wondering whether the red one is the fastest when the purple trolley came around the corner. It stopped at the "Group Health" station on Terry and Thomas. Game on.
Figured I'd first try speed walking next to it. Sure it tops out at 20 miles per hour, but I had rush-hour traffic and red lights on my side. I gave a nod to the driver and the SLUT took off, promptly leaving me in the dust. But I persisted and caught up to the trolley after a few blocks. "How do you like that, you Czech-made pile of tin!" I sneered.
Green light and we're off again, but this time as the SLUT reached Lake Union and took a right on Fairview Avenue she started to cruise and pretty soon all I could see were those mocking red tail lights.
SLUT 1, Curl 0.
Fair enough. My shins burning from the awkward motion of rapid walking, I cut my losses and prepared for the main event.
"OK SLUT, show me what you've really got," I chided as she switched directions for the return trip. I did a few quick calisthenics and comforted myself with my running cred: Hood to Coast relay, Cherry Blossom 10-miler, Bay to Breakers. A mere 1.3 miles to Westlake Center? Walk in the park. This kid runs 7:30-minute miles.
Was pondering whether I'd have time for a coffee break when the SLUT came back— and she wasn't messing around. The purple car glided past me (and this other kid who was trying to get on) and headed for the southern tip of Lake Union.
I set off at a good clip, weighed down by my rain coat (sans umbrella native Seattle!) and camera I'd been handing to unsuspecting passers by to help me record the effort. I kept within a block of the transit toy and even pulled ahead while she stopped at the corner of Fairview and Westlake, but it was all over when the SLUT headed up the homestretch.
She passed me with a patronizing "ding" "ding" and didn't look back. I picked up the pace, but couldn't buy a red light. And as anyone who's hoofed it up Westlake can attest, it ain't flat. By the time I reached the station on Westlake and 7th Ave., the SLUT was smirking at the end of the line— about three blocks away. And she wasn't the only one that was purple.
Bested by the machine I did the only thing I could: hopped aboard for the free ride back. Next time SLUT, next time.
17 comment(s)
Adriana says:
Great photos. Love the play-by-play, Aimee. And nice socks.
Posted On: Tuesday, Dec. 18 2007 @ 5:39PM
Damon says:
Excellent photo essay.mI\'m surprised you lost. Perhaps get the SLUT at a time of heavier traffic--I bet you\'d win then.
Posted On: Tuesday, Dec. 18 2007 @ 5:58PM
david stoesz says:
LOL! I love the one of the ladies laughing out the window.
My money\'s on you if you do it again without the camera.
Posted On: Tuesday, Dec. 18 2007 @ 9:13PM
Phil says:
Thanks for the best laugh I\'ve had in a long time, Aimee.
I think you just invented a great new sport.
Better luck next time.
Posted On: Wednesday, Dec. 19 2007 @ 8:15AM
alex daniels says:
yes! the socks! the socks!
Posted On: Wednesday, Dec. 19 2007 @ 10:27AM
tree says:
This is great -- very clever idea and a fun read.
Posted On: Wednesday, Dec. 19 2007 @ 10:27AM
slosey says:
Like a 21st-century John Henry. You\'ll get that train next time!
Posted On: Wednesday, Dec. 19 2007 @ 10:41AM
Trish says:
Don\'t let the SLUT get you down, ACG. You\'re still a rock star.
Posted On: Wednesday, Dec. 19 2007 @ 10:44AM
Laura says:
Just be careful next time, apparently they\'re known to be dangrous: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2004082238_webstreetcar19m.html
Posted On: Wednesday, Dec. 19 2007 @ 10:46AM
reverand money says:
gee last time I read a piece by Aimee Curl it was the morning after she went drinking with Councilman MNcIver, leaving him to dive home drunk and beat his wife.
Posted On: Wednesday, Dec. 19 2007 @ 12:54PM
ZB says:
I would\'ve liked more SLUT-laden inuendo, but all in all, that you ended up purple and throbbing was a nice consolation gift.
Posted On: Wednesday, Dec. 19 2007 @ 2:03PM
Jessica of Vancouver says:
Of course the SLUT won! Nice girls always finish last....
Posted On: Wednesday, Dec. 19 2007 @ 4:23PM
SeattleBrad says:
Ha! Great story!
Posted On: Thursday, Dec. 20 2007 @ 6:56AM
Steve McCollum says:
If you had only worn those socks at Hood to Coast you would have come out it injury free! Great Article, Aimee. Keep sending them.
Posted On: Thursday, Dec. 20 2007 @ 8:44AM
Sean says:
Funny! Killer socks.
Posted On: Thursday, Dec. 20 2007 @ 4:07PM
JB says:
Glad to hear the SLUT is good for something except gouging $60 million out of the taxpayers for nothing.
Posted On: Saturday, Mar. 29 2008 @ 1:14AM
Courtney - chicago says:
You are hilarious LOVE the photos!
Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 18 2008 @ 11:14AM