Randy Jackson Presents America's Best Talking Heads
Political conventions are highly moderated affairs; not only do the parties script every moment, but those moments are then interpreted for us by panels of talking heads assembled by the various networks. And moments of insight are rare, as anyone who watched Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews fawning over Michelle Obama's speech last night can attest. (Musing on the Obamas' modest roots, Olbermann digressed to the topic of how Cornell's unique makeup--it contains several public colleges--enabled him (the son of an architect and a schoolteacher) to attend the prestigious university. American Dream realized!)
Given the general inanity and redundancy of Convention punditry, as well as America's need for a Mario Lopez fix following the conclusion of the most recent season of America's Best Dance Crew, I propose letting the ABDC team handle the conventions. Mario Lopez can host, preening with his dimples and six shooters, making virtual self-love to his reflection in the teleprompter, and Shane Sparks, Lil Mama, and JC Chasez can judge the speeches. ("Y'all just ripped it," Shane might tell the Obamas as they congregate on the stage, Barack a giant head on the screen. "Y'all just took it to a whole 'nother level." Lil Mama would then send it to a super slow-mo. ) I think this looks more fun than Pat Buchanan and Rachel Maddow. And, shit, maybe it'll mobilize young voters. Puffy says Vote or Die, kids!
3 comment(s)
npc says:
wow, now that i think about it, the conventions are pretty similiar to ABDC...the crazy fans/"delegates", the ridiculous talking heads, everyone coming from difficult background, and the general all around underwhelming performances...i just wish i could text in my vote in november (well, that, and it would be cool if wolf blitzer dressed like lil' mama)
Posted On: Tuesday, Aug. 26 2008 @ 2:08PM
reidster says:
As much as I love Biden, I would have loved to see Sinbad on the ticket with Obama.
Posted On: Wednesday, Aug. 27 2008 @ 10:53AM
reidster says:
Actually...F*ck Obama, we need a Biden/Sindbad ticket!
Posted On: Wednesday, Aug. 27 2008 @ 11:00AM