Yellow Pages Terrorism Hits New Low

In the past, the people delivering hundreds of unwanted phone directories to apartment buildings would simply leave them in a giant yellow turd-pile outside the entryway (as seen at right). However there is a new, even more obnoxious technique, as I discovered at 8:30 this morning, when my buzzer kept going off, glancingly, kind of like someone was just randomly trying the buttons downstairs. Eventually, a neighbor more kind-hearted and/or more fully-clothed than me went down and let this person in. He turned out to be, no, not a fellow resident accidentally locked out, but a sonofabitch from Verizon Yellow Pages, who returned the favor by dropping a plastic bag with two new useless paperweights at the doorstep of every apartment in the building. Maybe soon they'll just start hurling them straight into our bedroom windows.