Zoo Apologizes: Spring Poo Irreparably Tainted
Sorry, gardeners and turd-lovers, but the Woodland Park Zoo's spring "Fecal Fest" has been canceled as a result of contaminated poo. You'll have to wait until fall to enter your name in the raffle and—if you're lucky—win the right to purchase a garbage can ($10-20) or a truck bed's ($30-65) worth of Zoo Doo, "a fully composted blend of animal manures mixed with straw bedding, grass, leaves and wood chips from the grounds of Woodland Park Zoo."
This spring's Zoo Doo was contaminated by an herbicide that isn't harmful to animals but obviously won't help plants grow. "We deeply regret that Zoo Doo will not be available for our many loyal users," said Dan Corum, aka Dr. Doo, "but we want to ensure that we can deliver a safe and high-quality product for our customers. Cancelling the Fecal Fest this spring is the most responsible decision for us to make. Gardeners can be assured that they will get the quality they expect from Zoo Doo when it's available again this fall."
Devoted poo-philes, rabid shit junkies, industrious turd merchants, and all around feces fanatics who can't wait until then can still buy two-gallon containers ($14.95) and pints ($4.95) of the brown stuff at the ZooStore, according to zoo spokesperson Gigi Allianic. By contrast, a pint of Ben & Jerry's can cost you up to $6.00. What a deal!
1 comment(s)
Laura says:
Poo is so great. So great I wish there were song and dance numbers about it. Wait! There is one!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BDd0XseGtU
Posted On: Wednesday, Mar. 4 2009 @ 3:18PM