Tim Eyman Thinks He's Funny

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Illustration by Tim Gabor
​A real privilege of having a job at a paper is receiving Tim Eyman's regular, rambling electronic missives, wherein he asserts that he's just standing up for the little guy. One example of standing up for the little guy is pushing an initiative that would redistribute money from regressive sales taxes to big property owners as soon as state and local government pull in more than they did in this year's recession. It's a simple formula: when good times return, don't invest the money in schools, public health, and public safety--give most of it to the Kemper Freemans.

But the best part is how Eyman's righteous crusade is leavened by humor. Check it out:

Our source in the No on I-1033 campaign managed to sneak us a copy of the script for a radio ad they'll be releasing soon. The script indicates that it'll be read by a man with a deep barotone voice. Here it is:

VOTE NO ON INITIATIVE 1033. Our state in heading toward a disaster of biblical proportions. What we mean is Old Testament, real wrath of God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. 40 years of darkess, earthquakes, volcanoes. The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats, living together, MASS HYSTERIA. VOTE NO ON INITIATIVE 1033. Paid for by the NO on I-1033 campaign, top contributors Washington DC's AFSCME, SEIU, and NEA. Any similarity to the movie Ghostbusters is merely coincidental.

Hold on...I'm still LOLing...ROTFLMAOing...okay, whew! I haven't laughed that hard since Chairman of the Board. That was funny!

But Tim and I aren't the only ones who think so. So do these people. And these people. And these people...

Yup, Tim is pleased as punch. In fact, so pleased that he's peeing in it.

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