Serial Burglar's Unclean Record Further Soiled By Dirty Undies

Your mother always said to wear a clean pair of underwear. She also said not to commit any B&E's. You should listen to your mom more often.

That metaphorical non-master criminal is real. And he's a 39-year-old serial burglar busted for pulling a wardrobe change in Shoreline.

Last October, our hero allegedly stole a laptop and some DVDs, then decided to drop trou for some updated threads. When police arrived, the man was gone but his underwear remained. An artifact which they'll only describe in the general as "soiled," leading you to use your imagination as to what exactly that means.

(Or looks like. But please, don't imagine what it looks like.)

In a scene we can only imagine looked like a deleted cut from the one CSI no one watches, a crime lab then analyzed the contents of the undies and found a direct match to a felon already in jail for five other burglaries near the I-5 homeless camp known as "The Jungle."

That man is due to be sentenced on Friday. The investigation into the Shoreline case is still ongoing.