Jake Locker Soon to Be Everywhere All the Time

​Although the Jake-Locker-for-Heisman campaign officially began back in April, the push to anoint the University of Washington quarterback the odds-on favorite to win college football's biggest individual trophy didn't start in earnest until this weekend. That's when Locker, dutifully trailed by UW's Twittering PR machine, went through what's known as the ESPN "car wash."

The car wash is where a sports personality makes an appearance on each one of the roughly 4,321 platforms run by the Connecticut-based broadcasting behemoth. And it is does not, thankfully, in any way involve shammies, Turtle Wax and a shirtless Stuart Scott.

How much will all this brand integration help Locker's Heisman hopes? Well as college football writer Bruce Feldman points out, it won't matter a lick if the Huskies don't win at least eight games.

And considering the past decade's Heisman winners played for teams that averaged over 11 wins, it probably won't even matter then. But hey, even if Locker's Heisman chances look slim, at least we got something out of his trip to Bristol: no one at UW can bowl for shit.