Geoffrey Burke, Brilliant Oregonian, Fakes Heart Attack to Get Out of Speeding Ticket

Beaverton, Ore. driver Geoffrey Burke is not a man who settles for worn out get-out-of-speeding-ticket excuses like "I was just keeping up with traffic" or "I didn't see the sign." Nay, Geoffrey Burke goes the extra mile.

The Oregonian:

Shortly after 3 p.m., an officer pulled over a Chevy Tahoe traveling 46 miles per hour in a 30 mile-per-hour zone at Southwest Allen Boulevard and Wilson Avenue, said Officer Pam Yazzolino, a Beaverton police spokeswoman. The driver [Burke] reportedly told the officer he was on his way to the hospital because he believed he was suffering a heart attack.

Burke wasn't having a heart attack, as both emergency medics and hospital doctors concluded. And soon the man found himself being cited at the hospital for false reporting to an officer, on top of the speeding ticket.

We hear, however, that the man refused to sign the ticket, saying he was having a sudden attack of carpal tunnel syndrome.

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