Real Talk: The Next Great American Band

This past week, I saw the a commercial previewing The Next Great American Band, a new series from the producers of American Idol, set to debut tomorrow night at 8pm on Fox. Like Idol (but with bands, not just singers), it's essentially a network-broadcast battle of the bands/rock-off to win the title as "The Next Great American Band." Remember RockStar: INXS and RockStar: Supernova and how well those went over with America's music audience? Me neither. So how will a show like this, which airs on Friday nights, one of the least watched television nights of the week, even manage to come close to it's more popular older brother? Does America even care who its next great band is? Doesn't really seem like America even cares about who its current pop Idol is. So why do we need a band to worship and call our own (that is, until Season 2 premieres)?

I don't know. Seems like there are plenty of bands around today working their asses off and releasing great records, who could be considered The Next Great American Band. (I seem to recall Brian Barr mentioning Oakley Hall as the greatest American band of the moment.) Who the hell are these washed-up bands, and why are they trying so hard to impress the shows producers, judges (Goo Goo Dolls' John Rzeznik, Shelia E., and a British bloke named Ian "Dicko" Dickson), and America? What do they have that someone like Chris Daughtry doesn't? I can only predict The Next Great American Band will be some bland, homogeneous modern rock band, some otherwise boring band with a zany, energetic front man, or some ridiculous D&D metal band. No need to look any further than here.

Frankly, any band that attempts to win such a "prestigious" title should crawl back into that little corner of Sports Bar, Anywhere, USA, right where they will belong.

How can anyone top Grand Funk Railroad?