Erik Blood Needs a Job

Ahhh, if buzz could only pay the bills. My homo honey Erik Blood has been busily producing brilliant records over the last few months but has been without a "day job" for so long his straights have gotten rather dire. He's applied for so many things,but nothings panned out. Fortunately his BF is keeping a roof over his head, but he's past the point of pride when it comes to looking for work. So good people/employers of Seattle, I present to you: Why not hire Erik Blood?

Why, oh why, won't you hire Erik Blood? He's ever so handsome and smells pretty good for a dude. He makes amazing fried chicken and waffles. He's rarely more than a few minutes late and hardly ever sleeps on the job. He's always polite and can play every instrument but the drums. He could quote you Prince lyrics.He could sing you lullabies. Or construct lullabies (dirty, dirty, lullabies) for you out of Prince lyrics. He could walk your dog, answer your phone, sit your house, chauffeur your drunk ass about Seattle, call and talk to your mom for you,(he's great with moms),cook your meals, do all sorts of personal assistanty type things. Or best yet he could produce/remix a fucking amazingly awesome record for your band for an extremely reasonable fee. Want your record to sound as good as the Moondoggies, for around one months rent? I urge you to contact Erik Blood.
Regardless of your needs Erik Blood is there to fill them, so why, oh why, would you not hire Erik Blood.

If you have a position that Erik Blood could fill, contact him here.