Duff McKagan: Midwest Rock and Saying Good-Bye
The ongoing saga of Loaded's tour continues for me and the fellas for now and the foreseeable future. This week we were included on the bills of some of the bigger rock festivals in the Midwest. They do summer rock festivals like they do college football: BIG. Slipknot and Korn have been the staple headliners for most of these gigs, and while both these acts are definitely a sight to watch, it is often a surprise opener you've never heard of who steals the day (at least for me).
Deanne Deesay Duff McKagan, left, and Mike Squires during Loadeds's set, April 9, 2009, at The Crocodile. McKagan's column runs every Thursday on Reverb. Follow him on Twitter @Duff64.
Because I was leaving for Europe after this last weekend and therefore would not be seeing my family until June 14, I pre-investigated if I could bring my family to these Midwest festivals. (Touring for me is mostly a test of rub-raw heartbreak and longing for my family. Make no mistake, I'm a big boy and no sobbing wimp, but I realize that, well, touring IS our livelihood. It just sucks being so far from my people.)
My daughter Grace was going to be having her half birthday; a thing both of my kids have come up with so that they can celebrate their summer birthdays in the spring with their school friends. (We've found that summer birthdays wreak havoc on kid attendance, as everyone is off gallivanting somewhere or other. Besides, the makeup melts off the clown we hire every year because of the all-day sun exposure that our house endures.) Back on topic... Since Grace was having her party last weekend, it would be a perfect opportunity to bring Mae, my youngest, with me. At 8 years old, Mae is a cagey veteran of plane travel and tour-bus smarts.
Now when you have eight males traveling together, a sort of dumbing-down phenomenon happens. It seems that instead of using well-thought-out and articulate adjectives, guys stuck together for a length of time will ALWAYS resort to "fucking," "fucked," "fucked up," "fuck yeah," or simply just "fuck." It usually takes a couple of days for me to curb this habit whenever I get home. And here I am bringing my sweet 8-year-old girl into the eye of the hurricane, if you will. I'll just say this: If we had a swear jar, Mae would have come out of this weekend flush with dough. Instead, she will just look at the person swearing and kind of give them a look, as if to say "Really?"
To my kids, by far the coolest thing about touring is the bus. Every bunk has its own little TV, and all buses these days have Direct TV. They couldn't really give a crap that I might be playing in front of 20,000 people--they've seen that a million times. No, EVERYTHING about the tour bus is cool to them. Even doing their homework on the bus is cool. After our shows, Mae and I played hide-and-seek and a new game she invented with a hacky-sack. Our nights were spent cuddled up in the back lounge watching a family movie together. She sleeps in the bunk above mine, and likes it when I reach my hand up to hold hers so that she feels secure and thus falls asleep knowing I am right there. I had to say good-bye to her at the airport in Des Moines, Iowa, as she flew back to L.A. with a trusted friend and I off to Finland. She wanted to come with me and not go back home (and back to school). We really had a great daddy-daughter bonding, and I miss her as I write this....
I've got to say that I saw a few outstanding bands on this little Midwest swing. At the top of the list was Corey Taylor, doing solo gigs with some friends he grew up with. You may know Corey as the lead singer from Slipknot and Stone Sour, but I know him as a guy who just likes to rock and have fun doing it. His band out-Loaded Loaded as they came on stage to the Magnum P.I. theme song doing a choreographed dance, and then proceeded to play "Let's Go Crazy" by Prince. They CRUSHED it! The heavy-metal crowd was further bewildered when they saw their Slipknot hero go from the theme song from Cheers into "Pig" by Nine Inch Nails. It was absolutely superb. To me, when you can flat-out rock and also take the piss out of yourself...then you are doing something right. Another band you all should check out is Parlor Mob--a sort of MC5-ish band that gets the fuck down!
As I write, I am somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean heading to Helsinki. The flight crew is a bit surly, it seems. I must have slept through an incident or something, but when I just asked for a cup of coffee, the flight attendant snapped at me that "Patience is a virtue!" Uh...OK. Flight attending is one of those professions where they can treat you like crap and there is no real recourse for the customer. So you just kind of sit back and take it. I could sure as fuck use a cup of fucking coffee, though! FUCK! Sorry, Mae...
As a killer side note: I got published in The New York Times this past Tuesday. The only bummer is that it went in as "by Michael McKagan." I really am not sure why. Heck, my own mom never called me Michael. Oh well...The Times is definitely a bucket-list item I can now cross off.
27 comment(s)
zeke says:
Please share some Rok & Roll feelings about the Finland mini tour when it's finished. :)
Posted On: Thursday, Jun. 4 2009 @ 2:58AM
Jusu says:
You guys played a GREAT gig in Helsinki! What an awesome show it was... It was a dream come true to see Loaded. Hope you have a great time in Finland.
And also, your columns rock! It's always one of the highlights of the week (minus lazy saturday mornings and nights) to get to read these.
Posted On: Thursday, Jun. 4 2009 @ 3:28AM
Patty says:
HAHA, "MICHAEL" :)) Kidding, Duff! I know how awkward it is when people address you with your "real given name" (if there is such thing), but that's how formality goes, right? Ew, formality.
The fourth paragraph ("To my kids, ...") it got me teary-eyed, and made me miss my own father (he's working abroad.) And I know how Mae feels when daddy's leaving the family for work's sake. Also, it makes me want to bond with my dad cuz I am not exactly a daddy's girl.
But hey, I wonder what it's like to have someone like you for a dad. Perhaps it's one of the coolest things ever.
Posted On: Thursday, Jun. 4 2009 @ 5:05AM
Elizabeth says:
Hey, wherever you are--
Another great column. :-)
It sounds like Mae is having a blast--and how cool is it that she thinks the bus is more interesting than seeing you perform? I would think that that means that she is not full of herself because of who her daddy is. You must be doing something very right.
When performers talk about life on the road I am always struck by both how mundane it is and how absolutely gruelling it is. I guess some performers are in it for the glamour, but some of you veterans must just really, really love making music. I would not survive all that touring entails. Regardless, I'm glad that Loaded continues to tour. Maybe you'll come nearby me someday. :-)
Best,
Elizabeth
Posted On: Thursday, Jun. 4 2009 @ 7:06AM
Elizabeth says:
P.S.
Congrats on the NY Times piece. That's great.
Also, I've found that some flight attendants can be like some mall cops--completely into being able to treat people badly when those people have the unmitigated gall to enter into their little power spheres.
Posted On: Thursday, Jun. 4 2009 @ 7:10AM
duygu says:
Hi everybody,
This touring idea made me thought of the trips I used to make with my parent and some friends. We used to rent a bus for a week or 2 (due to holiday limitations :( ), and go to remote places for the sake of photography. I grew up in this environment and finally I found out that photography came up as for granted in my life. What I adored was those road trips on the bus (not kidding) and time spent all together during these trips. Maybe because, as a kid, I felt that my family and friends were closer to me, much more secure than a city life when you get to see the parents only in the evenings.
Anyway, it is quite difficult to explain this feeling but those are really memorable times in my life and I think I was lucky to have parents who chose to spend every possible holiday in this way.
Now that I m 27, I travel as often as possible and love to discover new places. I hope to be able to give this vision to my kids in the future and have similar family&friends trips.I believe it is even more important nowadays when people are losing this close relationship due to changing lifestyle...
oup, it s been a long post, sorry if this was too boring, I just wanted to share:)
Have a nice weekend!
Posted On: Thursday, Jun. 4 2009 @ 7:37AM
K.K.F says:
oh man, Loaded with mr. Monroe in Hellsinki, and I fucking missed it... Gonna beat my head to a wall for the next year for that one.... always a pleasure to read your column, Duff. I too have two daughters, Mai and Juuli, and its really fun reading your stuff especially when it comes to parenting... I can really relate to that "fuck"-problem, it's hard to switch on to parent-vocabulary after spending couple of good hours with the guys....
Posted On: Thursday, Jun. 4 2009 @ 8:17AM
MiaStella says:
I had a pretty good laugh reading about your flight-attendant incident - loool! I can vividly imagine your face when she snapped at you and you not knowing what's really going on. I often experince those nice "uh-??"-moments myself, don't ask me why... ;o)
So, you seem to be quite a cool daddy! I must admit that I felt a bit envious, unfortunately I haven't had the possiblity to accompany ANYBODY on their tour, but ok! I won't complain! Your description of your after-show-activities really made me smile - not only because it seems to be quite a change compared to your backstage habits back in the days :o))) but also, and particularly, because it is really touching and reminds again of what is really important in life (especially in misanthropic times like these). My father died when I was 1,5 years old and I don't even remember him. However, sometimes I miss him a lot, most of all that I haven't had the chance to experience a father-daughter relationship so enjoy every second you can spend with your family, it is so precious. My boyfriend lives in Italiy while I am in Germany so I can understand pretty well how you feel at the moment. But time passes fast (it almost flies by breatlessly, at least I have the impression at the moment, 24 hours don't seem to be enough to do one's daily stint...) and you will see them again soon!!!!
So have a good time in Europe and enjoy Rock am Ring and Rock im Park this weekend, I wished I could have come to see you there... :o(((
Lots of greetings!
Posted On: Thursday, Jun. 4 2009 @ 9:20AM
Kelly says:
Loved the column today! Going on to read the Times one now. Congrats on that!
Posted On: Thursday, Jun. 4 2009 @ 9:26AM
brazinglish says:
I came here thinking I'd have a savvy comment to make when I'd finished reading the column, but all I can think of right now is "will you adopt me?".
:-)
Posted On: Thursday, Jun. 4 2009 @ 10:02AM
DaveCromwell says:
Great column, Duff. I've got kids too, so I know how you feel about that "quality time."
I'm so happy to hear you checked out The Parlor Mob. I saw you were playing within an hour of each other on the same night - and I believe I Twitter'd that to you. They're friends of mine and I've written about them quite a bit.
Speaking of writing - I've written a lenghty feature on Loaded's New York City performance on this tour.
You can get to it all through a blog I also did about it - which has additional pictures (different ones from the feature) and links to a number of the YouTube clips.
Check it out here:
http://davecromwellwrites.blogspot.com/2009/06/duff-mckagans-loaded-05192009-blender.html
Good luck with the remainder of the tour, man.
Posted On: Thursday, Jun. 4 2009 @ 10:22AM
Real Thing Shakes says:
Something better than the swear jar, with guaranteed success after one day only: slap-swear.
It's simple: if someone swears, regardless of who it is, everyone in the room gets to hit them on the forehead with an open-handed smack. My dad and I used to do this (he was in the navy, so he literally swore like a sailor) and I took great pleasure in trying to hit him as hard as I could.
Either way, it works and it's fun as hell, if perhaps psychological conditioning.
Posted On: Thursday, Jun. 4 2009 @ 11:11AM
Mad_Mama says:
Great one today! You know how to really express that special bond between father and daughter. Thanks for sharing!
Love what you said about Corey Taylor - I have not had the pleasure of seeing him live or meeting him yet. Those of my friends who do know him can't say enough good things about the guy. Looks like we may have the chance in a couple months, so be sure you're back home, mid-August! You can introduce Wade and me to him yourself, 'kay?
Posted On: Thursday, Jun. 4 2009 @ 2:14PM
Nevermind says:
' its ok to say fuck, but its not ok to call someone a fuckhead '
Nevermind The Bollocks
Posted On: Thursday, Jun. 4 2009 @ 5:33PM
Julie, another French Canadian girl says:
Hi Duff,
It's really touching to read about your daddy-daughter trips. I think it's the cutest thing!
I read your column in the Times. Very cool!! Which reminds me that you said not too long ago that you don't like to talk about your private life, which I perfectly understand, but stories about how you escaped just before Chavez's coup, are stories that I really like to read. I hope we get to read more like these!
Good luck with your tour and I also want to let you know that I sympathize with you when you say you miss your family. I'm in a similar situation. My husband travels a lot for work and it's heartbreaking for him to leave his daughter behind, no matter how long he leaves for. The only thing I can say is that you do the right thing by spending some daddy-daughter time with your girls. They will remember that for the rest of their lives.
Cheers!
Julie xox
Posted On: Thursday, Jun. 4 2009 @ 9:22PM
jeanine (netherlands) says:
great column again! I admire you even more for being such a great daddy. Who would have expected that during the wildest GnR years :).
Saying goodbye to the ones you love is always the hardest thing. My sister lives in the USA with her family and I miss her so much, so I know what it must feel like when you have to say goodbye to your kids (and wife ofcourse). Even worst is that her little boy (age 7) is having neuroblastoma, so she spends so much time in NY where they treat him. Please be thankful for having 2 healthy lovely daughters (who are not impressed when daddy performes for 20.000 people :).
Can't wait till the Loaded show in Amsterdam!
have a great weekend!
Jeanine
Posted On: Friday, Jun. 5 2009 @ 1:51AM
Sabrina says:
Duff!!!
Hey me encanta tu columna, siempre la leo, hace poco empece a escribirte, pero no cre que me entiendas lo que te escribo, por que no se me da el ingles...
Yo tampoco quería volver de las "vacaciones" como tu hija, pero me parece maravilloso que tu familia siempre este presente, creo que es lo que mas humano te hace, te sigo desde ya mucho tiempo, desde el '92 creo, y es increible como el tiempo va "puliendo" a las personas, recuerdo que otro gran idolo decia "algunas cosas nunca cambian" pero no es verdad, creo que si se le pone ganas si se cambia...
Con respecto a tus shows, ¿¿CUANDO VAS A VENIR A BS AS?? Muero por verte, sos el mejor, bueno así lo veo yo...
Cuidate mucho, me alegro de poder conocer de tu vida y tus triunfos...
Sabri!
Posted On: Friday, Jun. 5 2009 @ 6:07AM
Fernanda says:
HA HA, 'Michael', I preffer Duff, but Michael isnt't uglly.
Controlling the words is always difficult, especially when you are a rockstar.
I admire you very Duff, know that here in Brazil, we love you! (yes, I'm Brazilian)
I know you are very busy, but when you can, come to Brazil please.
Kisses from Brazil ;)
♥
Posted On: Friday, Jun. 5 2009 @ 5:02PM
Sophia says:
Goodbyes are always tough. Every year we either go down to Puerto Rico to visit my grandmother or she comes up to visit us for Christmas. She lives alone, ever since my grandfather died about 4 years ago. When we have to leave her (or when she's going away from us), it's always very sad because you realize from the miserable expression on her face how alone she is, and how she really wants us to stay. My sister also lives in Ireland, so this is when we get to see her. Saying goodbye to her is hard too because, well, she's my sister and I won't be seeing her again for a year.
I go to an independant school and my friends and I are graduating this year. I've been in this school since 3rd grade, and it feels so great to know that I only have like 4 days left! The school is fine at first, but after a while you start to feel boxed in. My class is 7 girls which sucks, but we have a helluva lot of fun. We went to Canada for a school trip and we just totally regressed. It was like we had gone from being 14 year old girls to 10 year old boys. There was a lot of playing with food, let's just say. I think we put butter in a coffee machine....
I'm going to miss my friends when we graduate...
Posted On: Saturday, Jun. 6 2009 @ 3:51AM
lish says:
Corey Taylor is the the poo so take a big whiff..lol..that man knows how to Rock out
Posted On: Saturday, Jun. 6 2009 @ 9:13AM
Brad Cox says:
Fun read - especially if you have kids.
I just got back from Vegas, and the airline attendant was nothing short of a jackass! It was like good cop/bad cop. One was totally cool and one was sorry to be alive - or maybe that's what I was thinking. ha.
That [of course] doesn't make it right, it just makes it, well, it.
I have a 7-year-old daughter, myself. Band people really could sustain off a 4 word vocabulary. That being, 'eh, meh, nice & fuck.'
Have fun!
- Brad Cox
Posted On: Saturday, Jun. 6 2009 @ 12:47PM
steve h says:
5 words: Michael Monroe for Velvet Revolver.
How incredible would that be? Great column BTW, Duff.
Posted On: Sunday, Jun. 7 2009 @ 9:45AM
katie says:
JEEZUS H CHRISTMAS!!! my computer was out when this was written....son of a gun i missed comenting on the column about the midwest and corey taylor. THATS ALL I KNOW. biff biff biff.
Posted On: Sunday, Jun. 7 2009 @ 3:14PM
Chris says:
My daughter also does the half-birthday thing as well. Her birthday is in July.
Chris
Posted On: Monday, Jun. 8 2009 @ 10:11AM
CFWilson says:
I have some AWESOME photos of Loaded in Nashville--had a real camera and everything--not a photo phone!
Can someone from Loaded's website contact me if you guys would like them added? I can't see a way to just upload them for you guys.
Posted On: Monday, Jun. 8 2009 @ 2:11PM
MB says:
@CFWilson: you can post them on the fan forum
www.duff-loaded.com/community
thanks!
Posted On: Monday, Jun. 8 2009 @ 3:29PM
George Trevor-Harris Lad says:
Thats cool Duff man, my dads off to afghanistan for a while this august, im gonna miss the guy I used for a buffer between my mum, the tour thing is real sweet.
I would be going to see you at download but I have my own alot smaller gig the same weekend, but HA, bet we get less bottles chucked.
Good luck and break a string man.
Posted On: Monday, Jun. 8 2009 @ 6:14PM
tyson leslie says:
thanks for the nice words about JBKB!
Hope you're doing well. I heard the "Sons" stuff last night and it blew my mind. WOW!!!! I'm SO EXCITED about that.
Take care and I'll see you soon.
t.
Posted On: Monday, Sep. 21 2009 @ 3:00PM