Reaction to Ashley Graham's Press Release Concerning the Postponement of the Billy Joel-Elton John Concerts

Joel & John, in healthier days.

Ashley Graham just sent out a release that will dampen the autumns of post-menopausal women and queens of a certain age: "Promoter Live Nation and the KeyArena were informed by management today that Elton John has been advised by his doctor to postpone these performances due to a serious case of e-coli bacterial infection and influenza. Organizers of the event are working to establish a new date. All patrons who have purchased tickets for the Face 2 Face concerts on Wednesday, November 4 and Saturday, November 7 at the Key Arena are being asked to hold on to their tickets until more information is available regarding the proposed rescheduled engagement."

To which we replied: "Goodbye Elton John, though we won't be hearing you at all in the fall, we hope you ditch the ecoli. Loneliness is tough, but not as tough as it'll be on the bartender's tip jar at the Fairmount Olympic, when Billy Joel cancels his room. It seems to me you've toured together since Poppy Bush was Prez, never knowing who will headline til after a game of Simon Says. And we would have liked to have heard you, but we'll survive, playing your greatest hits CDs, and wishing Lou Rawls were alive."