Question for Duff: Does a One-Week Break Means She's Gone For Good?

• With this, I have to disagree. A one week break does not mean that things are over. In this world where we have constant communication overload (i.e. cell phones, email, text, etc.), sometimes it's important for someone to take some time for themselves to relax, de-stress, figure things out. If at the end of this one week break, your girlfriend says that it's over...then (and only then) is it OVER. If she waffles on about friendship, that means she still wants some contact with you but only as a friend. If you can't be her friend, then you need to ask yourself "what brought us together in the first place?". But to assume a relationship is over just because someone wants some time for themselves is jumping the gun. Wait it out, see how things go, if it's meant to be then it will happen.

• @Brad Cox NOOOOO not the tuna/coffee-bean/curry/smoothie!! @The Broken Hearted When the love is not mutual its generally the one in love projecting an image on the other person that is simply not true(like watching a movie), our brains are capable of doing that unfortunately. Heartbreak should be on there with sick and vacation leave.It also feels like a horrible practical joke from the universe. It's not an easy thing to get through,but it can inspire us strangely enough.And it's there to teach us something about ourselves, I totally agree with Brigette on that.

• @ Duff - Haha! Speakin' of coffee, can you please expand on that tuna/coffee/curry smoothie? @ The Broken Hearted - Duff is right; if she's asking for a break, it's probably over. Go against every instinct you're having and you'll be fine. Go to the gym or run/exercise Rocky-style [That includes, but isn't limit to: Running in the snow, chopping wood and punching large slabs of beef in the meat locker with your bare hands], don't drink/drug and you'll be done with these negative emotions. The idea that you'll never be happy again is a lie - afterall, you have all of us to keep you smiling, for the moment!

• Duff has given me personal advice a few times on my ex-girlfriend that I was pining over. He gives good advice. I agree with his initial analysis. JW

• I'm not sure if ur joking Duff... Are u being some kind of sentimental consigliere 2 the readers of this column? I mean... Are we lacking interesting conversation subjects here? Was that the BEST question u found 2 answer?? I'm not the typical brownose fan here who goes "GREAT SMELL DUFF!!" after u've farted. I love u man, because u inspire, but... WTF?? You sound like ur writing for SEVENTEEN dude c'mon! Here's a Q. A few yrs ago some TV show host had asked Slash how is he going to deal with his turbious past of addiction and debauchery as for when his children star to wonder about it. His only answer had been also the best: "we'll think about it when the time comes." His children were 3 yrs old (or something) then. Can I pass that Q to you regarding the fact that your daughters are now in the verge of saying farewell to their childhood and at the gateways of starting to party? I know it's a tough question and I mean no disrespect, but I'm a father too and I get a chill down my spine whenever I put myself in the shoes of our RNR heroes having to deal with something like that.

• sadly, you are totally correct, duff. i just went thru this about a month ago. it was pure agony. kinda obvious maybe, but taking a break is the opposite of working thru something together. learning to let go when everything inside you wants to hold on feels counter-intuitive and wrong when you love someone. unfortunately this is sometimes necessary. when things aren't right, it takes TWO people to want to fix them, and without that, there's nothing left to do but pick up the pieces and rebuild yrself. that's what i'm trying to do anyway. writing this is hard... it was good to read yr article today. it still sucks, but it's good to know i'm not alone. well, i am now, but you know what i mean. thanks, a

• @Brad Cox I spilled a little coffee on myself reading that first sentence. Thanks for that....awesome! Duff

• @ ElBobbo Man, you are one disgusting jerk. Go buy a big can of RESPECT and drink it. That may help you.

• Dude, you are in the Phillipines, just go buy another bitch and when she gets tired of your shit toss her out and simply purchase another. When I was stationed there we called them little brown fucking machines and they were a dime a dozen.

• @ Brad Cox I would just walk away with dignity ...

• @Brad Cox True!!!

• Dude, if you want her back, just hook-up with her best friend and don't return her phone calls when she finds out. I'm half-kidding. Oddly, this would probably work, but not the best way to cemenet your footing into a solid relationship. That said, I'd probably just walk-on; one door closes - another opens.

• Well,Russell got to spend his week being the star of Duff's column. Sounds like a pretty good week apart, to me. I really like these new Q+A blogs. I hope they continue to show up in the future.

• She's my friend, btw!!!

• The one who loves more loses don't you think?

• So obvious! Go and have fun!!! Enjoy the week ;)

• @Russell Let her take the break and see what happens. Maybe you 2 will be alright. If not..do NOT pretend! chances are it'll come back at you twice as hard in the future, you should never suppress your emotions/feelings it's not healthy. remember, you don't have to fake a smile when you are with people that care about you! but do try to find something that sets your mind to other things, go out with friends, talk to people in the same situation and basicly try to have fun. try to carry on with life..it's difficult, but you will get over her eventually. for now let's hope she just needs that break and realise you are the one for her!

• Some very good advice there Duff ... 'acting as if' is a very powerful tool. I think I first read about this in Power of Positive Thinking somewhere around 1990 and I still use it today. @Russell ... I am a big believer that people come into our lives for certain reasons and then, sometimes, they leave our lives for certain reasons we may not truly understand and it is important to appreciate their times with us. My daughter on the other hand, might tell you to not give up hope ... about a year ago her boyfriend of several years (the only real boyfriend she ever had) told her he needed a break and that he wasn't happy. She was devastated and she was certain that he was making a terrible mistake and would realize it and come back. I was certain that it was over and tried to help her move on. Two weeks later he called and said he realized he'd made a mistake. She didn't immediately take him back, but they moved back in together last month and I'm pretty sure he's popping the question in a couple of weeks. However your situ works out, trust that it is for the best and keep your chin up. All the best to you ...

• @ Duff , Check out a Canadian Band called the Head Stones when you get a moment...They broke up , their lead singer is now acting Hugh Dillon think you will find it quite interesting ! Jackie

• Hmm second attempt....Lmao @ Susan McKagen, respectfully , that is a beautiful picture of your husband... @ Duff excellent advice... Home for a few hours, then back aboard.... Have a Grande Weekand ...Jackie

• @ Susan McKagan.......Whoa ! Nice picture... of your husband....from one woman to another ...Cheers...! @ Duff great advice....Jackie

• @ Russel Give her some space and time for herself.... What the hell are we talking about, just 1 week? So give the girl what she wants, don't claim her and of last but not least do not complain to her. And after that week, take it easy and go with the flow. The more you tried the more she pushes you away. So, no pressure! In the meantime, do whatever you like and enjoy your "free time"! Go out with your friends or stay at home with good music, and lots of chocolate. Success!!

• No dutch oven though, that would be pushing it too far!! Hooo man yeah.... one week break.... is no good. I have broken hearts and also had mine broken in the past. You just have to fake it, like the above comments and cry when no one is looking, I never called them again or begged for them to see things my way, nope, when you love someone you just have to let them go(clich�Love can make us look pretty darn pitiful at times, when it's not mutual.The more pitiful we look, the less desirable we humans become.Fake it till you make!!

• Russell, keep your chin up, man. It's in our moments of pain that we grow the most. Analyze what you did wrong in the relationship, so you don't do it again in the future. This takes a lot of bravery and accountability. Most people don't want to be accountable. They always blame the other person. "That damn bitch," etc. This is much easier to do than looking in the mirror, but it dooms one to repeat the same mistakes forever. Of course, it is possible you did nothing wrong and were really great to her. In that case, I would say: Why do you want someone that doesn't want you? Trust me, these are questions we have all grappled with, if we've lived long enough. Good luck.

• Russel, pretend you're happy without her ;)

• Hey all ... Duff has posted on here before about donating to Ronald McDonald House etc. Just wanted to remind all us readers - 'tis the season. There's lots of easy ways to help ... my wife and I save Coke Rewards points all year from the caps ... just donated all our points online to Toys For Tots. Happy Holidays Duff, to you & your family ... and all the readers here. ~ Joe

• @Russell My wife just said to tell to "enjoy the week away from chick-land. Fart 500 times in bed!" So obviously...she has much lighter outlook on this! Duff

• @ Duff...Fake it till u make it! GOOD ADVICE!

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