13 Songs You Won't Hear at the Royal Wedding Reception . . . According to the Queen
With Prince William and Kate Middleton's imperial nuptials just around the corner, the royal family havs their hands full these days. Whole teams of wedding planners (like six stylists for Kate's hair alone) have been enlisted to ensure the day runs as seamlessly as possible. With a person for every job, often it's the old folks who get overlooked in the frenzy. So in the tradition of Breakfast at Sulimays, we thought Grandma could put in her two pence regarding some potential songs for the reception. Unsurprisingly, she hated all over our suggested playlist. Here's the official decree from the Queen:
"White Wedding," Billy Idol. Queen's review: "Gauche and suggestive."
"Candle in the Wind," Elton John. Alternately: "Mama, You've Been on My Mind," Bob Dylan. Queen's review: "This will be a bittersweet day for William. Let's move along."
"God Save the Queen," Sex Pistols. Queen's review: "No comment."
"William, It Was Really Nothing," The Smiths. Queen's review: "Insinuating and tasteless."
"Career Opportunities," The Clash. Queen's review: "I don't know what they're talking about."
"Fortunate Son," Creedence Clearwater Revival. Queen's review: "Ha, I totally get it. And we're not playing it. Next."
"Sunday Bloody Sunday," U2. Queen's review: "Bad memories. Absolutely not."
"Her Majesty," The Beatles. Queen's review: "Too silly."
"Army Dreamers," Kate Bush. Queen's review: "It's really not like that."
"The Prince William Sound," David Dondero. Queen's review: "Too meandering, too long. Are all his songs like this?"
"Hairspray Queen," Nirvana. Queen's review: "Too provincial. This will not do."
"Take Down the Union Jack," Billy Bragg. Queen's review: "Thoughtful prose, interesting vocal style. And--no."
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