Loner, Boner, and Chud: Vinyl-Collecting Slanhttp://mt.laweekly.com/mt.cgi?__mode=view&_type=entry&id=456801&blog_id=80g You Should Know for Record Store Day 2011
From bull-riding to cat-showing, every subculture has its own lingo. Record-collecting is no different. When it comes to vinyl, serious crate-diggers have their own language to describe condition, genre, and customers with alarming specificity. And with Record Store Day right around the corner, we know you'll be thumbing through a lot of crates come Saturday. 
An example of "co-worker rock"?
But for those among us apt to confuse Steve Wynn and Steve Winwood, we checked in with Bob Husak of Ballard's /Leary-Records/130001403716651" target="_blank">Leary Records (5459 Leary Ave. N.W.) to get the lowdown on slang you should know to talk like a pro. Stop by on Saturday for a storewide sale, and while you're there, slip these terms into your conversation and sound like you know what you're talking about.
Crispy: An extra-mint-condition record.
Loner: One guy who put out a record privately, most likely self-recorded. Related to downer, or sad, depressed folk, and boner, or "self-released records by a guy who's super-boring and bland," says Husak. Identifiable by their covers, which feature "a dude wearing a sweater vest or posing with a cat and the title's something like Can I Touch the Feeling." Also known as "co-worker rock."
Chud: A shitty record you see everywhere, especially at thrift stores. Anything by Barbra Streisand or Loggins and Messina.
Heat piece: A really good-condition, valuable record.
Incredibly strange: A genre of totally weird outsider music a la the Shaggs or anything else inexplicably bizarre.
Crusty: Anything favored by baby-boomers: Beatles, Stones, Moody Blues, Clapton, etc.
Hot stamper: The theory that one out of who knows how many thousands/millions of copies of a best-selling record (Hotel California, for example) sounds infinitely better than other copies due to the way it was pressed, thus denoting it a "hot stamper" with a value in the hundreds instead of a few bucks. Controversial, as some collectors don't even believe they exist.
Sweaty: White dudes trying to sound bluesy, like Blood, Sweat & Tears or Steppenwolf. Often accompanied by horns.
Hot tub: Albums from the '70s that seem particularly shag-rug, chest-hair, and cokey.
Xian: eBay shortening for Christian. Distinguishes you as someone who knows "what the fuck is up" about collecting Christian records.
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