Every time I see this guy I am so confused. Is it rude to stare? Should I look away and pretend not to notice that his eyebrows and arm hair are dyed bright orange to perfectly match his top hat? Have you seen this guy? I have been seeing him about twice a month for as long as I have lived in Seattle, and this past weekend as I shared the sidewalk with him once again I just had to stop his to get some answers. "Purple Mark" was nice enough to sit down with me in the park and explain just, uh, what it is that goes through his colorful mind.

Here's the deal:

Mark tells me that come the Summer Solstice, he will have been dying his entire body hair a certain color (or sometimes, like pictured above, a series of colors) and wearing an outfit of the same color from head to toe for 15 years. Sometimes he is entirely yellow. Sometimes he is a lovely pea green. I was surprised to see him wearing multiple colors when I ran into him but he explained that he had been "yellow yesterday but I think this is as green as I am going to get this weekend." Fair enough.

What is this guy's motivation? 

"So many people are against color," explained Mark excitedly, "so many people are afraid to live." He certainly has a hippy mantra about him, with an upbeat personality as colorful as his hair dye collection.

Purple Mark explains that anywhere on the body that there is hair is like a blank canvas, and unlike tattoos nothing is permanent. It is all changeable and it all grows back. (Mom, remember when I gave you that SAME argument in 7th grade after I dyed my hair green with Kool Aide? I freaking told you!!!)

Seattle is an interesting place for fashion. Some people pay too little attention to what they wear, while others use it to completely define themselves. I think there is a healthy medium that people should aim for, but this guy seems happier than most people, so who am I to judge?

Before our conversation was over, Purple Mark asked me if I liked spicy things. I told him I did and he told me he makes "habanero chocolates" and asked if I would like to try one. Hmmmm. He hands me a circular object wrapped in tinfoil and we part ways. They say not to take candy from strangers but I sort of think if this chocolate is laced with anything it certainly isn't anything as harmful as razor blades. Seriously though, I am sure it is just chocolate, right? He wouldn't drug a reporter, would he? Are there any free spirits out there that want to be my guinea pig?

 

Bandeau Dress from American Apparel 

 

I really like the concept of sarongs; that one simple piece can be used to create a wide variety of clothing items. The reality is that you have a square piece of fabric, often wildly patterned, that you are supposed to knot in some crazy fashion and then pray that it doesn’t fall off.

 

So imagine my delight to find this dress from American Apparel. It actually looks like a dress when you buy it and you don’t need to be an origami master to make it look decent. The bodice is fitted and will stay in place without constant supervision.

 

This dress style can be found at other places, but I would strongly warn against the pantsuit version because, well, it’s a pantsuit. You shouldn’t really need another reason.

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Click the above photo to view some of Bjork's choice fashion statements from her past.

Read about her upcoming set at Sasquatch! here. 

Amy is right, in the land of swimwear everything is ugly or so outrageously expensive that it begs the question, why do these cost more than pants?

I have managed to find some cute suits at prices that will allow you to go swimming (or sunning as the case may be) and pay rent.

Topshop has great basic separates in colors that don't make you cringe. Why the Brits, who have such uninviting beaches, make such great suits is beyond me, but the price is so great that I won't ask questions; most pieces are under eight pounds which translates to about 13 dollars. Buying a suit online is a bit daunting, but at under $30 and with a generous return policy the risk is small and the payoff great.



Roxy also makes cute suits although they will cost a tad more. Try the Crystal Cove bikini; it will run you around $85 depending on which separates you choose, but this one is reversible so you really are buying four swimsuits with all the different combinations you can do.  



Although most of the suits on figleaves.com are fairly bland, this one will make you a silverscreen starlet faster than you can say, "Daaahling, would you be a dear and get me another drink?"

Jaslene Gonzalez is very skinny, attractive, and photogenic. She seems quite sweet as well. But she's of average height (5'7") and has the accent of a South Bronx hash house waitress. Does this spell supermodel to you? Absolutely not. Such is the problem with America's Next Top Model, where Benetton demographics and feel-good stories get in the way of the show's stated goal: to find America's next top model.

Through seven cycles, it's yet to happen. And letting 12-1 shot Gonzalez cross the line first in the 8th cycle's  Melbourne Distaff last night isn't going to help matters. More troubling, the judges passed on one of the most distinctive faces to ever grace the show: favored filly Natasha Galkina, a Russkie immigrant whose rags to rubies past and Joliesque lips really could have captured the hearts and hard-ons of America. But no, Tyra Banks & Co. succumbed to the creator's increasingly Oprahtic tendencies and tapped Gonzalez, the comeback kid who was a season premiere semifinal cut in cycle 7.

So what's ANTM to do if it wants to fulfill its lofty mission? Maybe replace Banks with a stone bitch. Of course, it would have to be executive producer Banks who makes the decision to replace Banks, so this isn't likely to happen. But with her show's 0-7 (soon to be 0-8) record of producing viable supermodels, Banks is fast becoming the Todd Pletcher of catwalk svengalis.

Oh, YouTube. I love you so much. I have watched 2,058 videos. No shit, 2,058. You can actually look on people's profiles and see how many videos they have watched. I guess you could say I am sort of feeling embarrassed and sad about my life right now. But, hark! I have not wasted my life in vain! There is a higher purpose! And that purpose is providing you lovely readers with fantasmic Youtube videos to enjoy! You've seen the piano playing cat! You've seen the puppy falling asleep! Brace yourself for an even cuter youtubist! (whoa, did I just create a wonderful new term?)

Introducing: Threadbanger! Threadbanger is the Youtube.com channel that hosts Thread Heads, the weekly "how to" show that masters in teaching people how to make completely easy and creative things. They've covered everything from how to sew on a button to how to make a reversible purse out of old clothing, and everything is completely easy and tangible.

Here is a video that I really appreciated yesterday for example. Thread Head's Rob and Corrine teach us how to give regular jeans a cool vintage look using coffee to stain them and then wearing down the material with various items-check it out by clicking right here!

Want more? Go to Threadbanger.com

Click photo to view slideshow of student work from SCCC's Apparel Design Program. 

 

The basement classroom of the Apparel Design Program at Seattle Central Community College is much like I imagined it would be to walk into the secret sewing room of Cinderella's mice: full of activity, color and fabric scraps.

Some of the concepts students are working on feel like they have been pulled right out of a fairytale  with little magic sewing mice to resolve one of Seattle's most common fashion woes.

“What the Seattle lady really needs, and I think we all need, is a good raincoat. . . so I'm making pretty raincoats,” said Lisa Harris a senior in the program. “They're all out of Ultrex, with more feminine lines, often we're dressed cute and then we put on a parka or a Northface, the Seattle lady needs a cute coat.”

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He looks exactly like I would expect Chris Daughtry would look like with a few more cigarettes and a lot more hair, and the accompanying products needed to maintain the image of an aging rocker turned French restaurateur.

The cooling rocker was in Seattle this week, playing at the Fenix for MSN's Music in Concert Series. I'm about as bored watching this as he is performing. And that's saying something.

As expected, 30-1 longshot Dionne Walters was eliminated from the America's Top Model field last night. The statuesque Walters might yet have a promising career as an older filly, but at this stage of the game, she lacks versatility and experience. The former shortcoming is likely to doom 12-1 shot Jaslene Gonzalez in the final round of three (aka, the Melbourne Distaff) this coming Wednesday night. Gonzalez, who has a great attitude to atone for her obvious lack of raw intellect, was assailed by the judges last night for only having "one look." It's a good look, to be sure, but Gonzalez needs to prove she can win another way -- and it's a little late for a strategy shift.

4-1 shot Renee Alway cemented her pacesetter status by proving that she could pull off a more high fashion look last night in her Aboriginal posing session. Whether this performance will render Tyra's "too commercial" critique moot is a dicey wager at this point. We're betting it won't once the field is narrowed to two, thus making Alway the Hard Spun of the pack. But man, did our favorite, Natasha Galkina, make us sweat last night, falling ill by virtue of stupidly traversing the cold Aussie bush in high heels. So stricken was Galkina that she couldn't bring it to the shoot, thus regressing badly to early-season form and landing a surprise spot on the chopping block at episode's end.

But remember, young fillies typically regress before reaching new heights. And fortunately for Natasha, her regression occurred just before Distaff Day. At full strength, we still think this Russkie has the talent to nip Alway at the wire. Alway, who's mounted a nearly perfect campaign to date, has not only been called out for being "too commercial," but was flagged for not being "that young, fresh face" that supposedly matters most in this competition. Galkina is that face. If she can return to form, she's still got the look of a winner.

Spotted last night at the Barking Dog Alehouse in Phallard (i.e., the vast valley east of 8th Ave.  beneath Phinney Ridge that encroaches upon Ballard): John Heder of Napoleon Dynamite fame. Also in the house: ace KOMO-TV reporter John Sharify, who lives very nearby and is sire to a champion medley swimmer at Ballard High. Whodathunk that the building which formerly housed the dingy 7th Ave. Tavern and its mystery crockpot would ever see this sort of screenpower in one night. No word yet on whether Lindsay Lohan was doing coke on a Seattle-bound airplane, bragging to seatmates that she's flying here to "fuck John Heder." Come to think of it, 'ol Nap Dynamite does bear a striking resemblance to James Blunt, who allegedly has carnal knowledge of whether the mean girl's carpet matches the drapes.