Top Model Morning Line Odds
Does anybody watch America's Next Top Model anymore? Fuck it -- I do. Despite Meryl Streep's convincing diatribe in The Devil Wears Prada, I can't help but ogle the sheer irrelevance of the fashion industry. These people live in a world that they think is the most important on the planet, oblivious to the fact that 99% of Americans disagree with them (sort of like journalists). Now that Cycle 8's field has been winnowed to one black girl, one Latina, one blonde, and one Russian expat (purrrrrfect diversity quotient, Tyra!), I'm going to make like Mike Watchmaker and handicap the fillies as Oaks Day approaches, followed by a bit of pre-race commentary.
Renee Alway, 20, aka "The Blonde", 4-1
Natasha Galkina, 21, aka "The Russian", 3-1
Jaslene Gonzalez, 20, aka "The Latina", 12-1
Dionne Walters, 20, aka "Hot Chocolate", 30-1
Walters is a longshot if there ever was one, due to her country grammar and inconsistency in front of the lens (she tends to look mean instead of sexy). Plus, Banks & Co. anointed a black chick from the south just two seasons ago. Don't even begin to think that isn't taken into account by such a superficial panel. And despite a genuine personality and solid poses, the 5'7" Gonzalez is scary-thin and gravity-challenged. Somehow, despite hailing from Chicago, she has a J-Lo from the block, South Bronx accent. Weird.
Which leaves us with the puffy-lipped Galkina and surfer girl Alway in a legitimately exciting two-horse race. Alway has been the valedictorian of this bunch, and has a kid back home in Hawaii to provide extra motivation. She's cute in person and smoking hot in her shots. Hence, the panel's lone critique has been that she may be "too commercial," whatever that means. She had the bitch/loner factor working against her early on, but that seems to have waned at just the right time (although in this past "scenes from the next," she was shown encouraging the other girls to go for the jugular with a sick Galkina). A very formidable filly, indeed.
But my pick by a neck (a very stiff one, according to a nitpicky Banks) is Galkina, who boasts a smoocher to rival Jolie's, a thick Russian accent, and versatility that her competitors lack. She has improved every week, something I love to see in a young filly. But the real reason why she's my fave is her perspective: When southern belle Brittany Hatch threw a shit fit after a cab driver failed to pick her up after a series of go-sees, Galkina calmed her by saying, "People are at war in other countries." From any of the native Americans, this would come off as disingenuous. But from the war-torn Russian with the pillowy lips, it's a winning comment.
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