What It's Like Outside Right Now

There's a word for what this seasonably warm August weather is. That word is "nice." Not "hot" or "sweltering," but "nice." Seattle doesn't get hot or sweltering. Kennewick gets hot on occasion. Mississippi and Miami get even hotter, and sub-Saharan Africa can elicit sweat at times. But Seattle? Never hot, not by anyone's standards but Seattleites'. If I hear one more person complain about how hot it is, I'm going to stuff them in a fisherman's knit unitard and chain them to a furnace in the boiler room of the King County Jail. That'll learn 'em. Now, on with the show.