Halloween in Columbus, OH

• I love that Michael Cera and the hot cops are both represented in the photo at the top. Arrested Development may have lasted but three seasons, but it will never, ever die.

• Of course, the most important note to make of this post is that I have a truly awesome costume.

• Yeah, well, it's not exactly an accident that I'm here and not there! I'm not pining for the place or anything, but I do get irritated when people think OH is some podunk rural state. No, that would be WA. OH has five giant metropolitan areas and is so urban that most Northwesterners would probably piss their pants if they had to walk down any of our streets. Also, I sort of think it's HERE that people have shitty taste in music. They flock to any trendy thing, no matter how patently shitty. E.g., nine out of ten bands played on KEXP. In unhip crapholes like Dayton, places unblessed with a John in the Morning to to tell them what to listen to, people are more likely to use their own ears. Like I said though, I'm in no hurry to move back. I hadn't heard the "Come Blow Us" line. I'll have to start using that.

• Mr. Stoesz, I had no idea you were from the "round on the ends, high in the middle" state. My wife was born and raised outside of Cleveland and we lived in "Come-Blow-Us" for a while, so I was one of Erika's co-workers who said: "Why would you wanna go there?" But, I'm from Western Pennsylvania, so it's my duty to rag on Ohio. However, Mr. Stoesz makes great points about Ohio, especially on the music front. Ohio Players and Zapp are but two groups of Dayton origin. Can't forget about Bob Pollard of Guided by Voices and Kim and Kelley Deal of The Breeders. Not to mention the Ass Ponys. And though I think Cleveland gets picked on rather deservedly, I will always, always defend it as one of the punk rock capitals of the world. If Detroit gets a shit ton of praise for being home to the MC5 and the Stooges, then Cleveland deserves just as much praise for being the birthplace of Rocket from the Tomb, the Dead Boys, the Pagans, Electric Eels, the Mirrors, and countless others that never went to NYC to get famous. The Euclid Tavern smelled like cat pee, too. Akron was the birthplace of DEVO and Chrissie Hynde and Jim Jarmusch. Stuebenville the birthplace of Dean Martin. And Youngstown was the birthplace of not only the nation's finest Congressman Jim Trafficant (sarcasm), but also Al Bundy himself, the great Ed O'Neil. Come-Blow-Us, Ohio, DOES have better used CD stores than Seattle. But people there have no taste whatsoever...win some, lose some. And David is absolutely right: One slice of pizza from even the shittiest Ohio dive would kick the shit out of any Seattle slice. Regardless, it will be the coldest day in hell before I would ever move back there! Ha!

• OSU parties harder than anywhere in the world. I'm from southern Ohio and used to party there back in the day. The carnage was unbelievable. Little known facts: Ohio is the funkiest state in the union, and my hometown Dayton is the funkiest city in Ohio. The Ohio Players and Zapp, both from Dayton, and both ripped off by more hiphop artists this side of James Brown. More bounce to the once! Also, Ohio isn't the real midwest. For that you gotta go to WI and MN, places like that. Ohio is more of an Appalachian/southern state. And, sure, we got us plenty of the gays--who would doubts our gayness? I'll personally kick their ass. Also, fantastic pizza. No pizza here compares. I think it has to do with the water supply. Anyway, an excellent choice for your Halloween partying needs. And nice costume!

TotalComments: 5