Oh My God! A Bear Ate Elvis Costello!

We find Stephen Colbert the night of his Christmas Special taping putting the final touches on his own set of Christmas carols in a woodsy cabin, presumably somewhere in upstate New York. "Boy... what rhymes with boy." Stephen wants all new songs for his special because every time someone plays White Christmas, Bing Crosby's family gets a royalty check. A call from Elvis Costello reminds him to rush back to the city to start taping.

But oh no! Just outside Stephen's Cabin is a big, hungry bear! AAAAAAAAA! Stephen is stuck with no way to get back, but a troupe of helpful friends (and the poor, put-upon Jon Stewart--won't you try a latka?) come by ready to sing about blowing up everyone who perpetuates this whole "Happy Holidays" crap (Toby Keith), giving baby Jesus weed (Willie Nelson), the importance of nutmeg (John Legend--who can take your breath away, even dressed up as a park ranger. Or maybe especially dressed as a park ranger.) and angels getting their balls (Feist).

A parody of Christmas specials past only works with an unabashed commitment to the lame story, obnoxious holiday cheer, and convincing Costello to dress up as a clown and climb into a giant Jack-in-the-Box. So, of course, only the oversized caricature created by Colbert can pull it off.

I've always found something refreshing in Colbert's send-up of the religious right. The man's a devout Sunday school teacher. And he still has no problem singing about being high with Willie Nelson. The James Dobsons and Rick Warrens of the world can keep their massively commercialized, zealous fight for nativity scenes at government buildings. I'm happy to spend my holiday season with goats in mouse ears, John Legend (did I mention, oh so hot?) and the man who brings it all together, Stephen Colbert.

Swoon

A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All airs Sunday at 10 p.m. on Comedy Central.