Area Lesbian Favored to Win America's Next Top Model
In years past, we've taken to dismissing Tyra Banks' indefatigable America's Next Top Model as America's Next Target Model, as the series has notoriously failed to actually produce a top model from its cyclical crop of winners. This season, however, is different: Cycle 11's cast features a stunning, exceptionally bright 19-year-old Ukranian-born lesbian named Elina (pictured above), who happens to call Seattle home.
Over the past few years, Banks has made a habit of casting at least one plus-size model for supposed shock value/political correctness. Last year, the plus-sizer (Whitney) actually won. This year's cast included no plus-sizers, but features the aforementioned lesbian, as well as a transsexual named Isis and a stripper-like Asian chick with fake tits named Sheena. This is hardly your average supermodel material, and the fact that only Elina is left standing is testament to the tokenness of Banks' gesture.
But in what we view as a two-horse race, the hometown dyke rates as a narrow favorite in this, the annual ANTM Thread Count Distaff, held this year in Amsterdam. Below you'll find odds and commentary for Cycle 11's final five, who enter the homestretch tomorrow night on the CW.
Marjorie, 999-1. She's not winning. No way, no how. Sure, she's bright, quirky, and cute in an androgynous sort of way. But she's also super-annoying, mousy, and nowhere near the other contestants' league looks-wise. How she made it this far is one of television's great mysteries.
Samantha, 50-1. Pretty, tall, and blonde are good things to be if you're a model. Abrasive and uninteresting aren't. The archetypal fourth-place Top Model contestant.
McKey, 10-1. A strong argument could be made that this beauty takes the best pictures, and that counts for a lot here. But this filly isn't playing with a full deck of cue cards, if you know what I mean, and that also counts for a lot. McKey will be in the money, but you won't be seeing her in any Cover Girl ads anytime soon.
Analeigh, 4-1. Bright, personable, and pretty with a wide, interesting mouth, it wouldn't surprise us one bit if Analeigh crossed the finish line first. That said, while her performance this season has been far more consistent than her chief rival, her look isn't as fresh or versatile as Elina's -- and she's not a 19-year-old Ukranian-born lesbian. Banks is a sucker for anointing fillies with unique attributes, and Elina has that all over the rest of the field.
Elina, 2-1. We realize her posing range is somewhat limited, and she has a tendency to psych herself out of taking chances onset. We also realize she's been on the chopping block in the last two episodes, an ominous sign in a show that's held pretty firmly to a three-strikes-you're-out m.o. But make no mistake about it: This filly represents ANTM's first real opportunity to break a legitimate supermodel, and she'd be the first openly gay contestant ever to walk off with the contract. She's skating on thin ice right now, but we're still betting she skates to victory after the final Dutch runway show.
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