Can't Keep the Devil in the Hole in Baltimore

Life ain't easy in this Sherwood Forest. www.hbo.com/thewire

What if the Sheriff of Nottingham wasn't so much a self-righteous man of evil pomposity as a well-meaning and sharp detective with a weakness for booze and women and a seeming inability to follow the rules?

In this alternative to the Disney version, Robin Hood carries a shotgun, steals cocaine from drug dealers to give to the... well... no one really, then heads home to make sweet, sweet love to Little John. That's all fine and good for Maid Marian, a prosecutor taking on the corrupt at every level of the city from the streets to the Hall and a tendency to hop in the sack with married men.

Instead of an arrogant nincompoop--King Richard really wants to do right by his kingdom, but the ugliness of a place where schools are failing, new drug dealers pop up faster than anyone can lock up the old ones, and the kingdom budget spirals into the toilet, makes that a little difficult.

Welcome to Baltimore.
After months of sitting through late-nights over beers with friends who insisted on discussing nothing but "The Wire" I finally rented the first few episodes. By the end of episode 1, not only was I not hooked, I almost gave up on the series completely. The Wire is grotesquely violent, most of the characters--even the good guys--are unlikable, and the plot can be almost impossible to track at times. Most of the television I watch is something I can knit to, The Wire is not one of those shows.

But my so-called friends insisted I'd love it so I stuck it out for a couple more episodes and by week's end I had plowed through the first season and desperately awaited the second from Netflix. That's the trick to The Wire--it takes a few episodes before you realize that there are no heroes or villains, which is why the show is so damn good. Vicious drug dealers (specifically the unbelievably sexy Stringer Bell) care deeply about their friends and family, idealistic cops like Jimmy McNulty want to clean up the city's streets, but sometimes booze and blondes get in the way. These are characters that, like real people, you alternately love, hate and just want to punch in the mouth. The only exception is Season 5 where creator David Simon works out all his angst against the Baltimore Sun with a bunch of arrogant, pathetic, and underdeveloped editors. And even there the issues of drugs and homelessness heat up so much it's still a great watch.

There are no stand alone seasons. The five elegantly take us through everything from the ports to the schools to the underpinnings of city politics, finally ending right back where we started. So the best way to watch it is with all five held tight in your hot little hands and starting tomorrow, you can do that. The box set contains the usual extras, commentary and blooper reels (kill me now), but the important thing is that it exists. The box is simple, straightforward. No fancy lights or gizmos--but what's inside packs an unbelievable punch.

The Wire: The Complete Series on DVD, 23 discs, available Dec. 9, retail $249.99 (though easy to find on sale thanks to the holidays).