Pork Roast Perfected

Always more flavorful the day after.

If you do not own a crock pot, you're either working too hard or paying too much, too often for mouth-watering comfort food. They're cheap, efficient, and bomb/dummy-proof. (One of mine has a big dent on the side after I backed the driver seat into it.) This recipe's not as mind-numbing as my uncle Ben's old-school pot roast, but NOBODY CAN SCREW IT UP.

-- A few stocks of chopped cellery
-- 1 bag of mini carrots
-- 2 handfuls of chopped mushrooms
-- 1 large yellow onion, chopped
-- 1 packet of dried French onion soup mix
-- 1 pork shoulder (or "butt") roast, about 4 pounds (though, you can use any size)
-- 1 tall bottle of Newcastle

Set the pork in your slow-cooker/crock pot with the fat side up, and mix the veggies in around the roast, adding any extra to the top. Sprinkle the soup mix on top before adding about three-quarters of the bottle of Newastle. Drink the remainder of the bottle at your leisure. Set to low and leave it alone for nine hours. Move to high for one hour (that's ten total hours in the crock pot). Remove roast, and place on platter for breaking apart. Dinner (and tomorrow's lunch) is served.