Soak It Up: Eggs Cetera

The Texas Omelet with all the fixings.

Rehab Center: Eggs Cetera's Blue Star Cafe and Pub, 4512 Stone Way N., 548-0345. Brunch served Saturday and Sunday all day.

Self-committal time: 11:24 a.m.

Addict Intake area and time: Tolerable for a busy Sunday morn, and there was free coffee where you say goodbye to family.

Last Relapse: I'll be of age in 292 days...and let's just leave it at that.

The wait staff's last relapse: Given that this eatery is less than two miles from UW's Frat Row, the young servers' last relapse had to have been last night. In fact, with the bar already open, they could have started before I even arrived. Everyone I came in contact with had to be nursing a hangover. It must have hurt so bad even to hear their own voice, given that I probably heard a grand total of 20 words between the hostess, waitress, and bus girl. (How do you manage to take an order by just grunting "Hi?") You could practically smell last night's alcohol in the air--or is that the eggs?

The 12-Step Program: Blue Star is big on eggs, and two full pages are dedicated to their omelets and egg scrambles. They've got your classic breakfast items like the Double Dairy (just cheese) Omelet ($8.50) or the Just Eggs standard breakfast fare ($7.25). Most items seem to incorporate their breakfast potatoes -- mine were slightly mushy and surprisingly bland -- and your choice of toast, which I'll get to later. I chose the Texas Omelet (three eggs stuffed with chili, $8.95) for my first step but was reminded of the college cafeteria food that drove me to relapse. Had I really checked into Rehab? That baldy sure does look like Britney Spears...

My sponsor had the Sweetwater Clubhouse ($8.50, lunch and dinner items available after 11 a.m.). We were both disappointed to see that the sandwich’s bread was just like what you buy at the store for greasy grilled cheese -- the ultimate relapse snack when pizza can’t be found. The fries sure were delicious, though.

The not-so-sweet Sweetwater Clubhouse.

Likelihood of re-committal: Low. The last straw came when the waitress took my untouched, yet clearly ready to be eaten toast from me without asking. I've been in her shoes, but I know that's a no-no. The food was tasty and delivered unbelievably fast, but one might find better -- and cheaper -- at the local IHOP. Eggs Cetera does have its perks, including several uniquely Northwest items like the Crab and Shrimp Omelet ($9.95) and the Eggs Seattle (salmon eggs benedict). You can build your own omelet, but alas, my rehab dream would have taken all the booze money at a steep $14.80. The upside: $4 Bloody Mary’s and all-you-can-eat fish and chips from 5 p.m. to close.