Ask the Critic: Mystery Men Love Crab Sandwiches

Coming soon to a crab shack near you...or is he?

He told me he had a mysterious friend coming into town who was just crazy for big-ass crab sandwiches. A "VIP client," was how he described the person, looking for "big, meaty crab sandwiches."

Was it weird that I was more interested in the sandwiches than the mystery man? Was it weird that I didn't immediately think this was some kind of pervy crank call?

Anyway, Robert and I talked and he told me the specifics. The VIP he was riding point for needed a place for lunch in Seattle. He didn't appear to be picky about price or location, but did have specific sandwich requirements (a man after my own heart). Said 'wich needed to be big. It needed to be fresh. It needed to be loaded up with delicious, delicious crab. So did I know a place?

"Maybe..." I said. "So who is this person that's coming to town?"

"I can't tell you that," Robert replied.

"Is it your mom?"

"No. Let's just say it's a celebrity."

"Well what kind of celebrity? Movie celebrity? Political celebrity?"

"I really can't say."

"Are you sure it's not your mom?"

Robert was finally willing to admit that it was an unnamed musician he was scouting for. And I, in turn, gave up the goods on the sandwiches: suggesting he try Pike Place Chowder for an East Coast style roll (like a lobster roll, only with Dungeness crab), or maybe Elliott's Oyster House, which does a somewhat fancied-up version of a crab sandwich with shrimp and artichoke hearts and a cap of melted Monterrey Jack. 94 Stewart also slings a bunch of different crab-on-bread combination, from sliders (which would probably be too small) to crab toasts and a crab BLT (which might or might not involve too much ancillary stuff to satisfy the true crab sandwich fanatic).

Still, none of these standbys seemed like quite the place Robert was searching for, so I told him that I would pass the question on down to you, my culinary commandos.

So what do you say, Seattle? Where would be the best place for Robert to take his mom his celebrity musician friend for a big, fat crab sandwich?