The Six Weirdest Ice Cream Flavors in the World

So, Steve, would you like to stock my ice cream in your truck, versus just stalking me?

Seattle's got its fair share of haute, hip bacon and absinthe ice cream purveyors, chief among them Full Tilt and Molly Moon's. But bizarre as they are, they're pretenders to the throne that San Francisco's ultra-weird Humphry Slocombe currently sits in.

That parlor, located in the Mission District, is run by Jake Godby, described in a recent New York Times Magazine profile as a pathologically shy former fine dining pastry chef who counts foie gras, curry, red wine, prosciutto and whiskey among his more pedestrian flavors. So popular and pretentious is it that it's already been subjected to Twitter backlash in the form of Jasper Slobrushe, who's launched a feed that parodies the pretentiousness of Godby's creamy creations. A recent Slobrushe tweet: "We're the official ice cream parlor of Twilight. Get your Eclipse sundae today: Caffeine-free coffee ice cream with blue balls." Or: "Our new mustard seaweed flax seed waffle cone goes great with a scoop or two of cumin strawberry 'n' jerky." Even better: "Try a Gwen Stefani shake: shit & bananas. We like to drink them while banging a rock star as our ex-boyfriend watches."

Inspired by the envelope-ripping ingenuity of both Slocombe and Slobrushe, we set out to find the weirdest would-be ice cream flavors in the world, and came up with a list of six that Godby couldn't conjure on his most lucid mescaline trip:

6. Red Dawn (reconstituted ulcer blood, pureed kiwi, and flambeed Adderall). Popularized in the villages of Peru and shipped in ice trucks to major South American cities, this'll fuckin' wake you up. It'd even wake Gregg Allman up.