10 Top Voracious Posts of 2010: Part 1

Okay, so we've taken care of the pictures with our double-barreled list of 2010's Best Food Porn (Part 1 and Part 2). So now it's time to dispose of the words. Although this time, we're going to be doing things a little bit differently.

With the photos, I chose those that I thought were most lovely or most fully captured the essence of what was being shot--be it a beautiful plate of potatoes or a server at the end of a long night. But with the top 10 posts of the year, I went straight to you, the readers--running back through 360-some days worth of bloggity nonsense to find those which were most heavily read by the public.

These were the pieces that drew the most eyeballs, got passed around the most, were the most read. In that, they represent the collective, click-happy subconscious of the reading public. They must, simply by dint of being the most read, be those things that you were most interested in throughout the year. And what your choices tell me is that you folks are just weird.

So here they are, in ascending order. They're not the best. They're not the most fascinating. But they are the stories that you were most interested in in 2010.

Enjoy the trip down memory lane.

#10. Our Six Favorite SNL Fake Food Ads

Okay, so this one wasn't too surprising. Colon Blow, Cracklin' Oat Bran (Now With MDMA!) and the Brownie Husband? Saturday Night Live is often at its insane best when mirroring our own insane food obsessions. And really, any list that includes the awesome Taco Town commercial ("Pizza? Now that's what I call a taco!") is one that I'm going to click on, too.

#9. Adventures in Drug Smuggling: Cocaine Truffles and Bacon-Scented Heroin

That squid up there? When frozen, it'll hold 700 kilos of cocaine. And that's just one of the highly creative ways that drug smugglers have used food in order to get their wares past John Law.

I wonder how many of you were reading this one just because it was strange, and how many were taking very detailed notes...

#8. 7 Reasons Why Your Sommelier Hates You

"You're a braggart. A cheap braggart. 'I get annoyed by the guy (it's always a guy) who tells me about their 1,500 bottle cellar which includes Quilceda Creek, Leonetti, etc., then complains about the pricing on my list and asks for the best value around the $40 range. I really don't give a shit how big your cellar (or penis) is. I don't want to hear about it. Just tell me what kind of wine you want at what price point. I also hate the customer who knows just enough about wine to be dangerous. They learned the term malolactic fermentation and want to use it every time wine is discussed. There is actually one more: the people who make a blanket statement like 'I hate all Merlot.' I will find a Merlot and taste them blind on it and they will love it.' - Jeffrey Dorgan, wine director at Sullivan's."

And that's just one reason. Hopefully you all learned something.