6 Fad Diets You'll Never Finish

Copyright Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research

The aftermath of holiday overeating combined with the bone-chilling cold of the Pacific Northwest is enough to send even the sanest into a fad-diet spiral of death. If the sudden onset of tight-pants syndrome has you wondering if maybe there really is something to the whole Hollywood Cookie Diet, then it's time for an intervention. Whether it eliminates everything from your diet except castor oil and Rice Krispie treats for a week, or claims God himself has certified it--It. Won't. Work. Put down the lemon juice and cayenne pepper as we remind you of all the harebrained fad diets you'll never be able to maintain.

Credit: http://hollywooddietstore.com/

Hollywood Diet
Whether you opt to throw your dollars down the Cookie, 48-, or 24-hour miracle hole, you know this stuff is laced with six kinds of barely legal stimulants. ou might as well drink a case of Four Loko mixed with Ex-Lax.*

*(This is not an endorsement to do that either, crazy!)

Credit: www.3-day-diet-plan.com

Three-Day Diet
Just reading the menu for this sad-face calorie-restriction diet makes us want to overeat. With all the black coffee, cottage cheese, and canned tuna, the only thing you're guaranteed to lose is your appetite. Good news? You'll gain an ulcer! YAY!!!!

Credit: www.everydiet.org

Seven-Day diet
The only thing dumber than a restricted three-day diet is a seven-day diet where you only eat one food group. Let's do the math here:
1 day of fruit + 1 day of veggies + 1 day of fruits and veggies + 1 day of only bananas and milk + 3 days of only meat and greens = insanely screwed-up digestive tract.