Bloody Smurf Jizz & 6 Other Cocktails for Washington's Memorial Day Booze Apocalypse
This post was written by Pete Seazle, whose work regularly appears on the West Seattle Fun Blog:![]()
Memorial Day Weekend is one of the biggest booze fests of the year, shadowed only by the likes of St. Patrick's Day, The Fourth of July, and Flag Day. And as the three-day weekend of inebriation kicks off our summertime fun, one startling realization has come to light: Memorial Day itself is four days before the transition to privatized liquor sales and we might damn well run out of booze by then. Sure, grocery and unnamed club stores are stockpiling inventories in preparation of their June 1st liquor launch, but as the days of May wane, so do inventories at the state's liquor stores. Did you happen to notice the slim tequila selection prior to your Cinco de Mayo bash? It was no bueno, amigo.
So what does this mean for your Memorial Day plans? That's right: It's time to throw a Liquor Apocalypse Bad Booze Party! Unless you've been wise enough to stock pile your favorite vodkas, whiskeys, and gins, you're going to have to figure out how to put other less-favored boozes to good use--your Blue Curacao, your Advocaat, and your Creme de Menthe, for instance.
Let's get started!
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