Blazing Onion brings the challenge to Dick's in Snohomish County.

​Dick's Drive-In's Edmonds location is under construction and soon, Snohomish county residents will be able to stuff their faces with a deluxe and fries.

But the county to the north is not unburgered territory. There is already a beloved local, and expanding, burgerdom in Snohomish. David and Lori Jones founded Blazing Onion burger in 2007. With Dick's encroaching on his territory, Jones threw down. "I think the tastes we offer knocks their socks off." He said in an e-mail. "I challenge you."

Challenge accepted!

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What Dick's lacks in brioche buns (see Blue Moon above), it makes up for in soothing consistency.

​A while back, Blue Moon Burgers tweeted the following: "@lonstot we can't wait for you to pit us against those rascals from Dicks - our sweet meat and hot buns will prevail."

When two friends moved to an apartment in walking distance of the Fremont Blue Moon location, it seemed the perfect opportunity both to provide a much-needed dinner to the unpacking, frenetic couple and give Blue Moon its shot.

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​By now you've heard that Wendy's new hand-cut, sea-salt-sprinkled fries beat the Golden Arches in a taste test. Wendy's is telling anyone who'll listen, promoting the fries on billboards and to-go bags. But the real question is, can the restaurant founded by the lovable Dave Thomas beat Dick's with those fancy new fries?

Wendy's: Conveniently, you can perform a taste test of your own by starting at the Wendy's at 2543 Rainier Ave. S. and heading north.

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Can this Dick's burger stand up to the gut bombs at Loretta's Northwesterner?

​For the second installment of the Dick's challenge, I wanted to find the most Dick's-esque of the chain's competition. That's how I ended up listening to a Nina Simone record at a small South Park watering hole.

Loretta's Northwesterner (8617 14th Ave. S., 327-9649) is the very definition of neighborhood bar. The bartender knows most of the people sitting at her counter by name, and gets their input on the next LP she puts on; Cat Stevens is the big winner.

It's easy to see why people belly up to this bar. In addition to being a friendly place for libations, Loretta's makes a reasonable commitment to its food options--no microwaveable dinners here. Explaining the menu options, the barkeep points to the Tavern Burger, saying "It's basically like a Dick's burger."

Bingo.

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Moe knows what the people like.

​With St. Patrick's Day right around the corner (it's tomorrow), I've decided to give the regular Versus slap-fight a pause and use this space for my own foul ends--determining which American holiday is the drunkest on the block.

So how am I going to determine this? Guile, mostly. Wit. Made-up statistics and personal experience. This isn't a scientific survey by any means. But as I was looking at all the loads of green-tinted coverage being given to the annual drunken jerk-derby that is St. Patty's Day, it occurred to me that since the bending of elbows and the frantic consumption of alcohol is a fixture in so many of our American observances there must be some way to decide which is the most sodden.

So to wit, let's take a look at the contenders . . .

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​Last week in Versus, we ran our Voracious Tasting Chef Showdown Special Edition, pitting last year's champion, Seth Caswell, against his competition for this year's battle, Rachel Yang. And even though the competitors came off fairly evenly matched (with Caswell's personal experience in the Voracious Tasting Thunderdome balanced by Yang having actually stalked the boards in Kitchen Stadium for an Iron Chef America battle), the scores did not come out all that close.

When the question of who would win in a cook-off between Yang and Caswell was put to you, the people, well in advance of the actual Chef Showdown (which will be happening live at the Paramount Theatre on April 27, right in the middle of the massive Voracious Tasting party), the results were quite clear, with fully 60% of voters predicting that Yang will wipe the floor with Caswell and take that Chef Showdown trophy from his cold, dead hands.

OK, well not dead, but you know what I mean.

Today, we have a whole different kind of showdown. Hot on the heels of this week's rough-and-tumble review, we're going to be talking about pie. Lots and lots of pie. So without further ado, I bring you . . .

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Photos by Matthew Piel

The burger that inspired Snohomish County Executive Aaron Reardon to flex his political muscle to get a northern 'burb location.

​Last fall, Dick's Drive-In had half of Puget Sound stuffing the online ballot box, desperately trying to get the chain's next location in their hood. Edmonds emerged as the big winner, but it got us wondering--what's so damn wonderful about Dick's, anyway?

Thus began a monthly challenge wherein Voracious will eat around the rest of Seattle's burger joints, seeing how they, erm, measure up. The inaugural match pits Dick's against another beloved, fast-food style, cash-only burger slinger: Red Mill, famous for the mountain of bacon kept at the ready beside the grill.

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Seth Caswell, giving some love to the troops.

​Last week, we let two dumpling heavyweights battle it out here in the Versus arena, pitting international superstar Din Tai Fung against beloved local Mandarin Chef. And despite much mewling and whining from those who thought it was an unfair, inapt, or completely lopsided fight, we actually had a decent turnout at the polls, and (surprise, surprise) Mandarin Chef won this one in fine form, taking a full 66% of the vote. So hooray for the little guy, right?

Well, we've got a much more local showdown happening this week. Following yesterday's announcement that we've confirmed our two chefs for this year's Voracious Tasting Chef Showdown, I figured it would be completely appropriate to decide this battle first in the court of public opinion, before either competitor even steps to the stage.

So this week we've got defending champion Seth Caswell of Emmer & Rye facing off against Rachel Yang of Joule and Revel. Let's take a look at the stats, shall we?

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​Last week, we pitted two Ballard newcomers against each other in a battle to the death. It was Staple & Fancy (inside the Kolstrand building) versus The Walrus and the Carpenter (which lives at the same address, with just a thin pane of glass between its floor and Staple & Fancy's). I was of two minds on the matter: While I prefer the full menu at Staple & Fancy, W&C is the place in town for eating oysters right now. And I would be perfectly fine eating at either rather than going almost anywhere else in the neighborhood.

Once I turned the voting over to you, the readers, the split was similarly close. We had a decent turnout at the polls and both joints obviously have their dedicated fans, but with the final tabulation came a narrow victory (55%) for . . .

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Ballard's hippest address, pre-gentrification

​Last week, we debuted the new-and-improved version of this weekly column with a local burger battle, pitting Belltown's Dope Burger against BuiltBurger in Pioneer Square. I had some very strong opinions on which was the better burger (Built), but when the people of Seattle spoke (via our new poll page), guess who came out on top?

No one did! Once all the votes were tallied, it was a dead heat, with both joints all tied up in the final accounting. Which tells me two things. One, democracy rules. And two, half the people in this city wouldn't know a good hamburger if it crawled up and humped their leg.

But that's just fine because this week we have a new battle--a double-sided throwdown featuring Staple & Fancy and The Walrus and the Carpenter, the conjoined twins of Ballard's restaurant renaissance. Let's take a look at our competitors, shall we?

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